Doodling Away...

Memento

2006-09-02T18:26:00.000+05:30

I watched Memento last night. Its a story of a dysfunctional man, hell-bent of avenging his wife's killers. The chrono cum reverse-chrono storyline and the basic premise of a man without an ability to make new memories, does make the movie a very interesting one. I reckon the first one as a well executed gimmick and the second one as the truly novel concept in the movie. It makes the cut for me to call it excellent, but I definitely do not agree that it deserves to be Number 25 on the IMDB Top 250 movies of all times.
I wondered about something, long after the movie was over. When Natalie verbally abuses Lenny, mouthing unqualified obscenities at him and his dead wife, and taunts him that he won't remember a thing later. She made a point. People who consider themselves normal are therefore expected to remember what or who hurt them, and factor that in all their future social transactions. Why is that important? Is it because we don't like to get hurt and therefore we stop associating with people or situations where we are likely to get hurt? What if someone does not get offended easily, or someone who ceases to take offence for more than a short while? I would assume that such a person is less likely to have strong feelings against anybody, in the long run. Hence more likely, to associate with the very same people and get hurt again. How does such a person feel in the long run? I would like to know. After all we need to know how much pain it is worth taking, to be clear in our hearts that at least we are not being judgemental.

Something Something

2006-08-22T21:27:00.000+05:30

The weather has been the usual. The rains lovely. It drives into a monodrone when it rains too much, but when you get these days of drizzle interspersed with little lazy bright sunny days, it sure feels good. Only today evening was I walking in the collonade and watching the raindrops make beautiful patterns. They skittled across the thin films of water on the floor making beautiful serrated motifs. They swam around in whirlpools in the air, dancing to a turbulent tune. I could watch it for hours. Quite like that arresting scene from that beautiful movie, American Beauty. The way the plastic-bag danced in the wind, for minutes, and more. The red brick sidewalk in the background seemed to stand still, boring as it were. Like most people. I would rather be that plastic-bag. Or a raindrop. Live a different life. And be like all wonderful things, ephemeral.

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The blog has also been a thing on my mind. The new Blogger supports some degree of customisation that I have always wanted. I want to stick to this template I have, yet use categories, private posts and the like. I still am yet to find out if that is possible. At some stage I would like to blog seriously, i.e. write something more substantial than a personal blog. Where I could write about something other than my "oh so interesting" life. I could do it here, but it would be too jarring to have a private journal co-exist with what I would consider serious attempt to write about things I am passionate about. Probably food, drink and merriment as usual will form a huge portion of it. Yet the focus, for once won't be me. I don't know if it will at all happen. May be I should also have a look at Wordpress meanwhile.

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Workwise, life has been better *touche to that*. I now have some problems to work on. Even the Boss seems interested in some of them. I hope I can do some work on a couple of them, in the coming months. There is not much to do by way of reading, but the problems will require some thought and effort no doubt. Discipline is crucial, and that I lack it, is blatantly obvious. Yet, this is not the time to give up. This is the time to regroup and consolidate. Amen.

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And to entertain you, here are a few videos worth a dekko:
CAUTION: The second one is marginally work unsafe.

1)American Beauty Spoof
2)The First Ever Erotic Movie

Work finally!

2006-08-09T02:25:00.000+05:30

It would be an understatement if I said I worked seriously after a really long time.
I was feeling really guilty of not working at all, and infact none of my work was getting done! I am happy today that I managed to get some thing started. Thank God for "nice" advisors and thank God for days like these.

The last rupee

2006-08-09T01:55:00.000+05:30

He loved her. He was convinced that it was love indeed. Yet he would have to leave the next day. They had so much time with each other and yet so much remained unsaid. Since the last time it rained, there was not an evening they did not see each other. Tomorrow, however will be different. He would leave the city for another. Who knows what will become of the love between them? Love that the world knew about. Yet it remained hidden from them. He could not bear the thought of letting it die a slow death. Wasting away, like a leaves on the ground. There was nothing he could do. He stole her handkerchief. And she probably knew.
***
It coincided with the first rains of the season. They met after, what seemed like a lifetime. For the rest of the world, only six months had passed. And what better time than the rains, for old lovers to reunite! Lovers they were, they now knew. The embrace whispered it in their ears. The kiss told them, never to talk about it. There was however, the handkerchief to return. They had written letters, and discussed that a handkerchief is never a gift. It breeds quarrels, they say. In the darkness of the dusk, when fingers weaved into each other, it was bought back with a rupee. The crickets chirped, and one could hear the rain drip from the trees.
***
Two more monsoons later, he was again, Alone. The rupee winked at him, from its little hide-out in his pen-stand. It was the last thing that reminded of her. The love was lost long ago. How would this rupee be lost? He tossed the coin into a bowl full of coins. And so it ended, with the teardrop surging out into the sea. Unrecognised. Yet, there.

Twisted Fates

2006-08-03T02:13:00.000+05:30

Omkaara is a good movie. Could have been a lot better.

***

And here is something that one of my childhood friends has to say.
Somehow when you read it in the light of another statement he made about his dislike of "Green stubbled men, shiny happy whores..or worse still both together", it makes complete sense. Amen.

2 talks and another night

2006-07-28T23:28:00.000+05:30

Had a talk to give. And so I did.
Basically an act in audience intimidation, which I recognise to be so only after the talk is over.
But since the talk ws to my satisfaction and there were no pertinent questions unanswered I would reckon that the talk went fine. By the way I talked about Neutrino signatures of Supernova Turbulence. Not my work, its by some Los Alamos guy called Alex Friedland and his collaborator.

Then there was a talk to listen to. It was by a relatively better speaker ;)
Anil Sadagopal is a well known activist, social figure who has been stressing on the need for a Common School System. It is important to realise that although today's talk was not much more than a coherent rant, it stressed the need for policy level decisions on making education for all a priority for the powers that be.

However, being the frivolous person that I am, how can my day stop at such an enlightening note? The evening only started when we decided to go out to Kailash Parbat for a decent yet inexpensive dinner. While on the cab the decision changed to rather go to Bombay Blue, for a more up-scale dinner. While there, we realised we had only enough money for a couple of drinks and starters. So be it! Sauvignon Blanc is not such a bad thing to go with Aloo tikki chat you know!

Got back home and grabed some more money and ostensibly left for some food. Landed up at Leopold's. While I am not much of a beer person, it seemed just the thing to drink today. After a pitcher, a plate of french fries and some random conversation later it was a good time to indulge in some post-drinking singing- all the way from the causeway to the collonade. What life eh?

3 years and 60 pages

2006-07-26T17:02:00.000+05:30

I finally submitted my MS thesis today. I have called it

Neutrino Flavour Conversions in a
Supernova Shock-Wave.

I would now need to give a talk and that would be it.

Mood: TOTALLY UPBEAT

Gagged

2006-07-18T20:13:00.000+05:30

What to say bhailog! What is this country coming to?
Now I am not allowed to even read blogs kyaa?
How will I live? Boo hoo hoo...

Read some collected thoughts at:
The Slashdot newslink
The Google Group: BloggersCollective

There is by now, no dearth of links and articles and blogspots on this issue, but here is one from a friend of mine, which has been forwarded to President Kalam :)

P.S. A suggestion to view any blogspot blog is to do the following:
To see ****.blogspot.com type www.pkblogs.com/**** as the location. This facility is the courtesy of Pakistani blogger brothers who set up this facility to bypass censorship in their lands.

UPDATE: Blockade seems to have been lifted as of 2:00 P.M. on July 20.

Food for Thought

2006-07-10T21:07:00.000+05:30

I recently came across Ozymandia's blog, which I must say is quite representative of the person's intelligence and linguistic calibre. This piece by Samu is very good too, but I still don't understand a few of the words.

Meanwhile I had a dream a few days back. You must know about Herbalife, right? The "Lose weight now. Ask me how?" campaign, with their zealous campaigners. They would lure you with free samples, promises of a bejewelled future (one where you get rewards of having recruited more campaigners), yada yada yada...you get the point, I am sure. The basic idea was creating as many franchisees as you could and growing the network of people who believed in the stuff. I was quite sceptic about how on earth could it work! I was surprised to say the least when after fending off half a dozen recruitees, my Mom yielded and bought some samples and became a franchisee. I was surprised, yes. She had just only given up her swanky regular job and was planning to spend more time with her kids (read as cook lavishly for Me and my Bro). I could understand that easy money and available time are good bedfellows, but I was still surprised. After all there is something inherently fishy about the whole thing, if you ask me. Yet I never knew what. Until, I saw this dream that is....

A world full of Herbalife addicts. Addicted for life.
They live on it.
They live off it.
They dont know who makes it, and where.
What goes into it.

I am sure this view is factually incorrect (it better be), but it exposes my scepticism for the way it works. If I dont know who am I working for, what I am selling it means I am not in control: does not work for me at least.

P.S. Heard about the bomb explosions in the five local trains. I hope everyone we know are OK and help is on way for those affected.

Before Sunrise

2006-06-30T02:27:00.000+05:30

In our ordinary lives, there come moments where we could make our lives extra-ordinary. At that right moment, all that is required of us, is to be a bit crazy. Take that step, stripped of all sanity. Get down at that station in the middle of the journey. Drop all other plans and suddenly take off to Ladakh. Forget about the conference and make that one day trip with the complete stranger on the train. Walk through the Nordfriedhof cemetery at midnight all the way to home after downing that shot of Absinthe. It could be anything.

These are the opportunities life gives us. To carve into our memories one more memorable day in a lifetime of mediocrity and assembly-line mass-produced daily existence. And what do we usually make of it? We watch that small station disappear from sight as our train creeps past. That fine morning when we wanted to take off for Ladakh remains as one where we end up at office checking mail obsessively like every other day. That day where we could be in the non-descript town of Megeve with a stranger who did not even speak English, you spend sitting in a boring lecture, thinking of what could have been. Agreed, that most of the time we paint for ourselves a romantic picture of all the things that could have been. May be, it would all have been a big disappointment. Yet, there would be a sense of completeness in Life.

What about the times when we have infact been that tiny bit reckless? How do we look back at those incidents? Do they evoke a smile, a yearning for an encore, a feeling of being back in those moments again? Or regret? Disappointment? How do we feel about those times? I have hardly ever felt a sense of regret or disappointment. I have taken my chances, been stupid and reckless, gone travelling an unknown road and it has always been an enriching experience. One way or other. Sometimes things have gone completely different from what I would expect and yet the experience was worth everything I gave for it. I just wonder why cant we bring ourselves on to believe our instincts more often and just follow our dreams? Not to suggest that we do everything that catches our fancy, but at least not be afraid to do something because we never thought we would do it.

P.S: I watched the movie Before Sunrise, that set me thinking about so many things. The sequel to it, Before Sunset, I thought mainly explores the inticracies of a relationship. This movie on the other hand, I felt, had a thread running through it, which was somewhat more abstract. It was about who we are, what we will remember of ourselves, what makes us truly happy, how to capture those small joys of everyday life and live life to the hilt. I would love to thank VS for suggesting these movies to me and PR for lending me the CD.

P.P.S:
As a completely unrelated thing I will post the lyrics to Hello by Lionel Richie here. I love the song, especially for the entire ambience it creates.

Hello

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know

'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...

Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you

Just being myself

2006-06-23T00:32:00.000+05:30

As I walked to Theobroma for dessert, I felt the first rains of the season. It felt good. As it always does. The water dripping from the leaves, window shades and tarpaulin sheets. As it makes the shirt stick to the skin. And then we cross the streets; ever notice how the raindrops looked trapped in the beam from headlights of on-coming taxis? Every monsoon takes me on a dizzy trip down the memory lane. All I want to do is sit back with my eyes closed. Feel myself breathe. While listening to Simon and Garfunkel...Such a wonderful feeling, to hear that guitar strum.

And dealing with one's feeling is not an easy thing. Much less others'. One cant help but feel sad so very often. And lonely. Yet high on life, in a sort of way, that only optimists can be. Thinking of everything I like: sunshine through sparkling glasses, smiles that reach up to eyebrows, walking hand-in-hand, lost in the city, feeling sad, the feeling of being loved...

Which brings me to something else. I sometimes ask myself, "What am I doing?". Those spells of looking into oneself. Thinking about everything that is wrong with me. Thinking about what has changed, and what has not. How I am still so driven by passion rather than reason. What irks me at times is not that I embarrass myself completely. But that I do that inspite of my reasoning having forewarned me. But what the hell? I will let me be myself while I can!

Talking about embarrassment, it can sure be funny sometimes. For others at least. Been watching episodes from "Coupling", that lovely BBC comedy. Some of the traits in the people therein are so REAL. And goes without saying, I love their sense of humour.

Munich

2006-06-15T22:40:00.000+05:30

I had a good time in Munich for the last three weeks...
Some of my photos are here at http://www.flickr.com/photos/voicewithin/.

Munchen Freiheit

2006-06-15T00:00:00.000+05:30

This is one really long post. Actually it is more like a set of ten and a half posts bundled together. I want to keep them together because they really belong together. These are from my journal entries while at the summer school. Some names and sentences have been edited to appease the prude in me and so don't expect anything really interesting. Pictures on the way though...

Day One (22nd May):

Arrived at Munich via Frankfurt. Took the S-Bahn from the Airport to downtown, i.e. Marienplatz.
It was a beautiful sunny day, with tourists all around, and musicians on the street-side. It felt so typically Europe. A short walk later I was at Hotel Dachs, somewhere between Odeonplatz and Universitat.
Had a wash and grabbed a sandwich for lunch from Subway.
Once registration was done in the evening, I was all set for dinner, as I chatted up Julia and Milena from Serbia (as an aside, Montenegro had just got its independence and Julia was a little sad that the countries were breaking apart, given that part of her family comes from there). Roxana joined us, and we had a nice cosy dinner at the Vietnamese restaurant called Asia, which was quite inexpensive. After a walk through the city centre, braving the light drizzle, we returned to the hotel looking forward to the lectures the next day.edited

Day Two (23rd May):

Terrible weather, with drizzling all day long.
Met Julia, Milena, Roxana, Betriz and the Russian gang at breakfast. We would be the regular late-kates from this day. Of course there would always be the odd Italian who wanders in even later. Kept yakking over breakfast and reached late to the opening talk by the Director.

The whole morning went by, listening to the Cosmology lectures. The lunch was arranged at the Italian restaurant nearby. It was heartening and surprising to see that they had a choice of four main-courses to choose from! One some days two of those choices would be vegetarian! So needless to mention lunch was always a two hour long affair beginning with salads and ending with espresso or cappucino. Some more Cosmology later, the day was officially over.
We spent the evening in the Cantina downstairs, at the inaugural Bavarian buffet. Half the stuff was not even recognizable to me, and probably most of it was not vegetarian. I did manage to catch some potato salad, bread and a couple of great desserts.
Left with Milena and Julia for the hotel, and tried to buy a few bottles of beer and wine for a cosy evening. Unfortunately, the local store closes at 7, so instead we walked upto Marienplatz looking for a pub and eventually settled into a nice one with some Italian guys from our school. It was terribly cold with all the rain and I had my first experience with Weissbeer. Its dark and cloudy, and its much better than the horse-piss people drink everywhere else. It changed my opinion of beer. And then a whole night was spent drinking in the goodness of life. Yet I was really drunk and thirsty.

Day Three (24th May):

Bad weather continued.
Elaborate breakfast of melon, honey&butter on toast, muesli in yoghurt and some orange juice, and we were late again to lectures. Kayser spoke on general mass and mixing aspects; too melodramatic, Roxana and I concurred. Yet no one could doubt that it was a good show. More lectures by Hannestad, and then Mezzetto talked about experiments, which I quite liked. I left before the discussion session, with Roxana and Ekaterina, to see the Neue Pinakotheke. It has paintings by Van Gogh, Monet, Gauguin and other Impressionists. However, I felt too irresponsible to be bunking on the very first day and decided to walk back to the lecture theatre, from the subway. Met Milena and Julia on the way, who were going to see the museum too, and they asked me to accompany them. I should have known that temptation strikes more than once! I went with them. Funnily, Julia suddenly decided to go back to the hotel, leaving Milena and me alone. First we bought the beers and some wine (that we planned to do last evening) and put those at the hotel and then we went out venturing in the city. The weather was bright and sunny. We went to the museum to find it closed and thus ended up having a walk-date in the city. Admiring it and taking pictures of us together. We also went to a couple of shops and looked at clothes, MP3 players but bought nothing. It was one of those times when you land up with a pretty girl like her but you know already that you wont be seeing her in a million years again, and yet you are happy that you at least have a week to spend with her. The dinner was at Atzinger; some pancake like thing which was very ordinary, and a wonderful apfelstrudel (apple-pie in vanilla sauce), along with a glass of good Spanish wine (Rioja) suggested by Pascuale. Back at the hotel Milena asked me to come over to their room later. When I went, Julia and Milena had only started getting ready. I must accept, I had no idea that girls looked so beautiful without all their make-up. With all the hair drying and blush and what not, nothing could make Milena look more pretty than when she looked like she had just woken up. We chatted on until late around midnight, we decided to say goodnight and meet next morning for breakfast.

Day Four (25th May):

Breakfast was with the usual lot and was really late again, for the lectures!
Lectures were as usual and lunch was great too: probably penne formaggio (pasta in cheese).
Went back after the discussion to the hotel and then for dinner to Blaues Haus with Alexei, Sasha, Ekaterina, Andrei and the Serbians. I decided to sit with Russians while Milena and Julia went and sat with the some Italian guys who invited them. Roxana and Betriz joined us. Of course I spent all my time talking to Ole and Anders, the friendly guys from Denmark. We had a long discussion about Indian beer and wine (or the lack of it), and plans for the Sunday, while we were treated to an exceptional dinner of spargelsuppe (asparagus cream soup, that is the flavour of the season) and gnocchi (potato dumplings). It was a somewhat quiet day and I decided to sleep early, to be able to reach the lectures on time.

Day Five (26th May):

No signs of the weather improving.
Breakfast as usual and reached for the lectures late, because of the Russian princesses Sasha and Andrei. Lectures went on as usual. Hannestad and Mezzetto concluded their courses and Kayser had one more to go. We meanwhile planned for an outing on Sunday to King Ludwig's castle: Neuschwanstein. Lunch was fabulous always, pasta augratin. In the evening the dinner was supposed to be at the Biergarten (beer-garden), which had to be cancelled, courtesy, bad weather. We ( Milena, Joe, Alex from Munich, Tommy, Roxana, Betriz and me) decided to go to an Irish pub called Shamrock at Munchen Freiheit (a subway stop or two away from Universitat). On the way on Leopoldstrasse, we saw the famous statue of the "Walking Man". At the pub I had some Guiness and a pizza, while we chatted on till midnite. And then a couple of Bushmills' single malts. Well I planned to have only one, but the pretty British waitress ended up serving me in a chipped glass on two successive occasions which I realised only after I already had half the drink both times. Finally when I got my drink in a glass that was in good shape, she felt obliged to offer Tommy, our Irishman, with a complimentary glass. His story about the naked old man won't be forgotten in quite some time (Apparently when he reached the hotel, he was greeted by a naked old man in the corridor! While good ol' T turned the other way to allow the man to escape with his family jewels, the man just stood there, and even came forward to help him with his keys when he had trouble opening the door to his room. Fortunately for our Tommy, the door to his room gave way before the man could get anywhere close!). We learnt that there would be Karaoke at the bar on Tuesday and so we planned to be there. The party went on till late until at 3, we walked back home.

Day Six (27th May):

Just in time for the lectures today!
Kayser's last two lectures were much better given that he had to hurry a bit and he spent less time in the melodrama. Plumacher was too fast for me and probably I learnt more Leptogenesis from Kayser's 15 minute talk. Fiorentini talked about geo-neutrinos. The dinner was at an Indian place called Sarovar, which served pretty decent North-Indian food. However on this occasion the company was more interesting than the food. Kayser sat with us (the Russians, Roxana, Betriz and me) and it was a truly entertaining evening, with him talking about his experiences in India. Later we spent some time discussing among other things Physics! We decided to go to a quiet bar and pour ourselves some wine, and were joined by Ole, Anders and Tommy. Milena and Julia hesitated for a while whether to go with us and later went out with some other guys. We walked up the way to Universitat and took some pictures along the way before we settled on the streetside, at the Italian cafe Rialto, where they had some live band performing inside. The waitress was on the first day of her job. After some Weissbeer and conversation later we hopped to another pub nearby. It was happy-hour and we made good use of it. I ended up having "Sex on the Beach" and then a "Mai-Tai". It was a fabulous time we had discussing everything under the Sun. Sometimes I wonder how much we get cheated back home. The cocktails here for just 5 Euros were truly fantastic. Anyway, we were all high as we walked back to Rialto where the entry was now free! We went in and had a great time shaking a leg to the last few numbers before the party ended and we got back to the hotel at three. I was completely stoned and could not sleep for due to the dizziness, and then never knew when I fell asleep.

Day Seven (28th May, Sunday):

Woke up at 9:30 and rushed to breakfast.
Also packed a sandwich for the way, as Ole, Anders and I left for Fussen.
We were just in time for the train from Hauptbahnhof. The weather was terrible and we guessed wrong that it could only get better. The Alps were closing in and the pine trees were drenched. I was reminded of the great time I had last summer, in Les Houches. After two hours we reached Fussen and it was still drizzling. We took the bus upto the foothills, and by the time we reached there it was raining heavily. We were already dreaming of some steaming soup and French fries by then! But Curry-Wurst (Sausages in spice) and Pomme-Frittes (French Fries) was all they had, at the bistro. Which meant I made a meal of only French Fries and my sandwich! It was beginning to get really terrible with the rain, so I bought an umbrella (which was a great decision in the end, because not only did the rain not get any lighter that day, the umbrella proved to be exceedingly useful on the subsequent days). We walked up to the castle in pouring rain and enjoyed a very "unconventional" view of the place. Usually one sees pictures of the castle on a sunny day, so this was a different experience. Nothing exceptional from close quarters, the castle looked fairy-tale pretty from the Marienbruck bridge. There was no way I could have taken a decent photograph there with the drizzle and the sharp wind. However, I must say that it is one of the most beautiful places I have been to. From the wooden bridge on the steel cantilever between two cliffs one can see the splendour of the Neuchshwanstein and the lovely little stream passing below. Its a beautiful place I would have to be here on a sunny day, to really see the whole place. But it was too much for us already, and we were soaking wet. We decided that we had had enough and found our way back to Fussen and then caught our train back to Munich. A quick shower later we met for dinner and went to Asia. It was a quiet affair given that we were all very tired and I enjoyed a good meal of springrolls, Gemuse en Thai Rot Curry (Vegetables in Thai Red Curry) and rice.

Day Eight (29th May):

It was breakfast with the usual crowd. Milena had to get a book photocopied, so she left early. Roxana, Betriz and I took the subway to Studentenstadt and were late as usual for the lectures. New lectures started today, with Akhmedov teaching basic oscillation physics and Janka doing some stellar physics. Both of which were extremely useful. Sigl did a slightly shoddy job with cosmic rays. Had lunch with Milena and Julia, and spent some time with her after quite some time. I felt Milena was very nice, and yet it was clear to me that we had very different tastes. Roxana on the other hand reminded me a lot of A. Always so caring and so thoughful. I wonder if there are so many of them in the world. We really connected well. Of course she has a boyfriend already! Women like her can't be single for long. So it was very easy being friends and we really had a good time together. After the results for the poster session was declared, Roxana asked me if I would accompany her to Marienplatz where she had some postcards to buy for her friends (see, I told you, she was nice). We went together and visited the church. The service was on and we sat there in a beautiful silence and we lit candles before we left. The whole experience was quite relaxing. We roamed for a while in the city and talked. It was nice to meet someone and connect so well instantly and to be able to talk about everything. I also learnt something, I tend to feel very good when someone opens up to me and shares happiness, worries and everything in between. I believe the only thing that can truly attract and hold me to a person is when this happens. We went back after some time and met Betriz at the hotel and left for dinner to Atzinger. Had dinner with Akhmedov, and I completely overdid it with the French fries and gnochhi and Weissbeer. We stayed on till 12 in the night chatting with Mattias (from Sweden), the Danish guys and the guys from Munich. Apple cake on the dessert was fabulous as always and I decided I had to be back for that piece of heaven once more.

Day Nine (30th May):

Today we had decided to be on time and we were!
Lectures were the usual fare: Akhmedov was brilliant, Janka solid but very rapid and Sigl passable. Lunch was consistently wonderful. You cannot go wrong with Italian, you see. Milena came over and chatted for sometime in the afternoon. We agreed we were already sad to be close to leaving. Anyway, we had dinner at Sarovar with the whole big crowd. Roxana and Betriz had to leave and I spent the rest of the evening with Milena, until we decided we wanted to go to Shamrock for the Karaoke session. There were at least 20 of us, with almost everyone I was acquainted with, joining us. In addition the entire Italian crowd was there. At the pub, I talked for a while to Federica who is Sacha.D's student. She seemed very nice. Very Italian and very intelligent. Of course once the Karaoke started there was nothing else to do, but sing along! There was a dirt version of the Angels by the DJ, A sang "Like a Virgin" and I had to do a Britney with "Oops I did it again"!!! Of course the height of it was Matt being made to sing "My heart will go on" and Tommy doing "Sex-Bomb". Some guys and a blond bombshell sang a couple of songs and did a great job. Of course then the singer in me decided that I needed to sing something better and sang "New Kid In Town". Tommy was reeling off his numbers too and then there was Greg who was doing a wonderful job. Alex also did a good job with GNR. Milena and Tommy and I sang "Hello" by Lionel Richie. Greg did "Sweet home Alabama", and I decided I had to sing "Are you lonesome tonite". By this time it was mostly us who were singing. Of course the blond Mika was there and a couple of other guys. It was immense fun and it had to end. Milena would leave in the day and so it was truly emotional for both of us to kiss goodbye. Its weird when you get to know someone (especially someone so pretty) for a week, and then don't see her ever again. Three 'o clock in the nite and a couple of Guinness' later we were back at the hotel.

Day Ten(31st May):

Today would be the last day of the school. Ekaterina and I met at breakfast, and she told me Roxana was skipping the first lecture (Sigl) and had asked her to tell me. I decided to skip the first lecture too and went walking in the city with Roxana and bought a "thank-you" card for the organisers from the local stationary store; these stationary stores are so pretty, I just love them. The lectures went fine as did the discussion and then Georg declared the school formally closed. Of course we would meet for dinner at the Weisses Brauhaus. It was typical Bavarian food for tonite, with Kartoffelsuppe (potato soup), Bretzels, and a HUGE dish with fried onions, cheese noodles, spinach in cheese, grilled tomato, beet-root cooked in tomato sauce, Gemuse schnitzel and zillion other things that I cant even remember. Of course I had to have Weissbeer too, which I only later learnt was on the house! Alex, Florian, Akhmedov, Mario, Roxana, S and I had a nice time riddling each other before we (Alex, Roxana, S and I) decided to leave for a pub that all the Italian guys had gone to. It was already past midnite and we could order just a Weissbeer, before they decided to close. The waitress was a slob and gave on trying to bill 25 guys ordering different things! Roxana managed to get the thing done, but not without getting a bit hassled. We decided to go somewhere else and walked upto the famous Hofbrauhaus, which too was closed. We decided that Atzinger was our best bet to remain open, given that it was in the student's area. We took the subway and spent half an hour at every corner of the street with everyone saying goodbye to each other for the n'th time! Eventually we said our goodbyes and the young and strong (Four Italian guys, Federica, Roxana, D and I) went to Atzinger and had our beers. I managed break my beer jug (which apparently is an omen for good luck), but not before I had finished most of my beer. And then the owner came up to us and served us some short cocktails (Strawberry crush in Vodka) on the house! Just like that! You go into a pub at two in the night and stay on till three and get a free cocktail; Is this paradise of what? At three we were done and walked the hundred meters to the hotel at snail pace, until we had to say our goodbyes yet again. And that is where this chapter would have logically ended, but Roxana and I decided to meet next morning and visit some museum together, before she left for her place.

Day Eleven (1st June):

Today I was supposed to join work at MPI. I got up real late and rushed with my stuff to the guest house at MPI, and then back to meet R at the hotel. I was 20 minutes late and thought she would probably have given up and left. However she was there! She told me she knew I would be late! We walked upto the subway together and went to an art museum Lenbachhaus. It funny with people like her, you just don't have to think! Everything happens spontaneously, you walk, take stairs, talk, eat, look, smile, feel sad, laugh..everything is spontaneous, everything is taken care of. I wonder if it is hard for such people to handle normal people. Anyway, we saw some really beautiful paintings by Kandinsky, discussed some paintings and the society, our lives and how it feels to depart. Eventually it was getting late and we hurried through the museum store where she bought her postcards again, and we rushed back to Asia for lunch. We had planned for a calm time, having lunch together, before we separated. Unfortunately it was already late and we got our food packed and said Au Revoir with affection. It was still drizzling as she walked to her subway stop and I mine and I had two more weeks to spend in this land.

Parker House Obit

2006-05-20T23:07:00.000+05:30

I am leaving for Munich tomorrow and I need to get back into my checklist mode before I leave. So what has been going on?

One of my favourite places around is Theobroma. For the uninitiated, it is an excellent confectionary on the Colaba Causeway. They have a good selection of desserts, sandwiches, rolls, breads, cakes and more. The coffee is pretty decent too. Unfortunately when I went there yesterday, I was informed by the old lady that they have stopped making their Parker House Rolls, which was my favourite non dessert item on their menu. I was rightfully indignated when she told me that the reason for the tragedy was that people did not like those rolls and lot of them were being wasted! The people have no taste for the good stuff really, I tell you. I feel heartbroken now.

Of course I have been dissapointed in other ways too. None of them really my fault I tell you. Anyway, one cannot expect everyone to be able to hold a good conversation, or have the time/inclination for it.

Of course I am severely dissapointed that I could not get started on another problem yet, and that is entire my fault.

Lets hope, a three week break does me some good.

P.S. Had a great dinner tonite though :)

Slowly we learn

2006-05-17T20:47:00.000+05:30

Slowly we learn.

About the world, the people, the ways, and the pretences. And about ourselves.

We learn to be careful. Every day we learn. Learn to be still, look up and ahead.

Somewhere we learn to stop judging people. And one self. And still learn to choose. Correctly.

Learn to go where the fragrance leads to. And take that one step back.

Learn to keep the chin up. And to smile.

Slowly, we learn.

Before Sunset

2006-05-16T01:32:00.000+05:30

Nostalgia does this to me. Blankly staring ahead I can just hear myself breathe. I can't cry, I can't do anything, I am just stoned. Nostalgia does that to me.

Its been quite sometime now. And I thought I had forgotten her. Or so I hoped. Until I saw this movie and could not help but get depressed again. Every conversation, every moment, every look, every tinkling laughter reminded me of her. And I am sure they shot the movie in Paris for a reason. There are few other places that would stoke the passion of an incomplete love, like Paris would.

I was reminded of our walks. The alleys we explored, holding hands. The buddhist monastery, and how serene she looked as she prayed. I remembered the first time we kissed. How her hair smelt so beautiful. And how difficult it was for me to breathe when she leaned onto my lap. How could I ever forget her whispers as I played with her hair. I could see every little freckle on her face as I felt her breath on my face.

And then I remember the conversations over coffee. How we argued and fought like kids. How we hurt each other so much, in the end...I remember it all. But the no memory is complete till we are dead.

P.S. I wish she sees the movie though.

Noble Dreams

2006-05-10T12:09:00.000+05:30

Most of us who try to do research, at some point of time believed that it was a purely academic exercise. Fortunately for me I still think so. This is what Gary Taubes, author of "Nobel Dreams", says is "probably closest to philosophy". High Energy Physics (HEP) is a large and yet well-knit community. Unlike all other scientific disciplines, with probably the exception of astrophysics (which I would tend to include in high energy physics), in HEP small set-ups do not work. You need to be a giant. The HEP theorists are ahead of the experimentalists. This is expected because the experiments are HUGE, COSTLY and RISKY. You need gargantuan funding, iconic scientific presence, and solid political support to get people to agree to do the experiment you propose and more importantly to make sure that you get credit for it. It needs more that just good physicists to get such a thing going. That is where probably men like Carlo Rubbia come in.

I just finished reading the Book I of "Nobel Dreams" by Gary Taubes, where he describes the personality that is Carlo Rubbia. What begins by looking like a bitter tale of personal revenge by way of character assassinating a famous physicist, ends as a wonderful tale. A tale of how a man possessed with extraordinary skills of a scientist, negotiator, gambler and task-master bundled into one, managed to shift the power of balance in HEP from the Americas to Europe. Someone who changed CERN from a cautious also-ran, to the fore-runner in the field. His experiment UA1 where he and Bernard Sadoulet jig up the most amazing detector and use Simon Van Der Meer's ingenious ideas to make extremely powerful beams of protons and antiprotons collide became the prototype for the REAL colliders; the forthcoming LHC is basically a bigger and better version.He had to bluff, to lie, to hurt people on his way to do all of this. And why not? The only thing that mattered to him was that he must have the best machine at his disposal. That was all he needed to make sure that he wont lose. All he cared for was fame as a brilliant physicist. There is not an iota of doubt in anyone's mind that Carlo is not the most affable person in the world. Yet no one can argue against the necessity of a handful, and only a handful, of such people if one needs to get any work done. Read the book if you are even remotely interested in Particle Physics or the lives that physicists live and dream of...

I am only half-way into the book, with Book II still remaining. The story of the first SUSY searches beckons...

But meanwhile I suddenly got an email in my inbox with the sender-name Bernard Sadoulet!!!
It was an invitation to the SUSY 2006 conference. Imagine my surprise to read that name!
Of course I dont know any SUSY and wont dream of attending that conference even if I had the money (which I dont...).

I am also reading Love in the Time of Cholera, and I feel weird that I am finding it difficult to breeze through the book. I am used to finishing books in a single reading, and if a book cannot be finished in a single sprint, I tend to start thinking that the book is really not that riveting. May be my palate is suited to simple writing only. OK that would explain my thorough distaste for the writings of Kant and the likes...

This blog is a joke

2006-05-07T18:18:00.000+05:30

This is not really a post. It is a joke that I got in an e-mail and actually laughed at. I will reproduce it with some changes I made, after I had "internalised" it. Here it goes...

One day, a girl called Jayalalithaa, then 18 yrs old, heard from her Mom, that if she abstained from having sex till she got married, she would get 3 boons * told you this was a joke *. So she decided to do it *clearly this girl believed her Mom too much for her age* and completed the vow successfully and got married to her boyfriend...

On the night before her wedding, the Lord really does appear and here is the dialogue between the girl and Him:

Lord: O Girl, you kept your vow, so I am very happy with you. I will grant any of your 3 wishes. You can ask anything you like, but there is one condition.

Girl: Condition!, what is that?

Lord: When you were into the vow, your boyfriend was waiting for you, so he also sacrificed the same things as you did. Moreover, he didn't even know anything about the boon. So he is also eligible for the boons. Whatever you will ask, he will get 10 times more than you. If you agree to this, then ask for the 1st boon.

Girl: (After thinking for some time ... ): Yes, I am ready. Make me 10 times richer than the richest person in the world.

Lord: But your boy-friend will be 10 times richer than you.

Girl: That's OK.

Lord: Be as you wish!

Girl: 2nd, Make me 10 times more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world.

Lord: But your boy-friend will be 10 times more handsome than the most handsome boy in the world.

Girl: That's great.

Lord: Be as you wish. Now the last boon remains.

Girl: O Lord, please give me a MILD HEART-ATTACK.

Lord: What? Are you sure!

Girl: Yes. Very sure!

Lord: Be as you wish.

Think what happened to her boy-friend then....

The girl remained alive of course and became the world's most beautiful girl, and the richest too.

Moral of the story: Girls are not DUMB. They are really more intelligent than we believe about them to be.

Now, girls please stop reading 'cos you have got your fill... let the guys continue till the end.....

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OK guys, dont worry, actually what happened is something different than what you all thought!

The girl's boy-friend got a heart-attack, 10 TIMES MILDER than that of the girl. Then he dumped that bitch, hooked up with the other girlfriend of his *obviously when ur girlfriend is a prude you need to get yourself another* and lived long as the world's richest guy.

Moral of the story: Guys, the girls are not really that much more intelligent than what we believe them to be...

P.S. I know its kind of childish, the way these girls vs guys jokes go...but I still found this one amusing :)

A little serious, and only a little...

2006-04-27T03:13:00.000+05:30

Disclaimer: Not everything I write is true. Neither is it going to be to your liking. It contains my personal view and I write what I want to. While this is true of this blog in general, it is even more true of this post. Take everything with a pinch of salt...the lime and tequila will only make it better.

This is a story about an institution called HEI (used shamelessly, without permission from Samu).

HEI was research institute, with brilliant professors, post-docs, and students doing excellent research. Or so it was propagated in every public lecture...of course that has to be the case then. You regularly heard about words like frontier, edge, premier...blah blah blah.

HEI was rich, so funds were never really a problem. But I did hear about black arm-bands, and protest marches sometime back ...never mind it now, 'cos that is yet another story. For now we had been told, HEI was rich and everything went hunky-dory. Well everything apart from yeast-canteen. The lawns were green all year, the flowers bloomed in the right seasons, the walls got painted, chairs repaired, computers replaced yada yada yada. People graduated, people got recruited and the wheel of time turned with clockwork precision. Reminded one of good ol' times.

Then one day HEI became DOOMED. It began taking more students than it used to, and trying to become a better place. It started fiddling with the courses offered to students, It just got messy by the day. Of course there was some drama about a very ex...err..exceptional course, when people dropped it and the drama went on for two years and those were lovely little incidents when we blamed our woes on the crows in HEI (Some people complained to the dean that they could not sleep because the crows were making too much noise, because people watched TV till latenite and that did not allow crows, who had their nest in the nearby tree, to sleep. Now tell me what is a poor dean to do!!!)...

HEI had 150 rooms in the hostels. Assuming everyone stayed for 5 years, only 25 people could be allowed to join each year. This was followed, until HEI was destined to be doomed. When they began taking 50 students, so that they could do real science. Then the obvious happened. People needed to share a 100 sq feet room. Initially for a month, then a semester and now a whole year and itching to become more. The promised new hostel, Zion, was never to be made.

And then one day lightning struck. Must have stuck on someone's head. I say this, because the person survived and wrote a letter and sent it to some of the students. Content of the letter being, if you have spent 6 years in HEI, you better leave the campus or forfeit your scholarship. Why was such a letter issued? There was a space crunch for new students to come in.

It is not easy for 25-30 year old adults to share a room. It affects one's performance. We all agree that quality ambience promotes quality work. On a somewhat weirder note, I wonder why is it even acceptable to ask adults to share rooms. Say, some of us have alternate sexual preferences. Then obviously one cannot be put in shared accomodation for the same reason that one does not usually ask a guy and a girl to share rooms. Or may be they will do that to attract new students ;) I dont know if HEI is an equal opportunity employer though...

More seriously (the previous suggestion was serious, this one is more serious) though, it was clear that the problem was a creation of a massive attack of myopia on the part of some very intelligent people. In any quasi-fair world those people would have to bear the responsibilty of the fiasco, at least in part. In the corporate world, they would get a pink slip. But this was HEI! They coolly passed the buck on to the people at the bottom of the pyramid. "Ask those b*gg*rs to live like chicken in pigeon-holes or get outta here" said they. And they thought they would live happily till they expire/retire in their 3 BHK mansions (I have heard about some having a hall big enough to play football, and apparently someone has two flats to himself with a swimming pool in one of them). Those people would not be affected. I thought it should be them who should be asked to shift into the hostel on twin sharing basis. They should set an example after all!

So then what happened? The meek lambs collected some facts and showed them to everyone. That was called a day of shock and awe. I had not seen anything like that before. People pretended to not understand the obvious, people blabberred, people shut up, people did ridiculous things that reeked of their lack of preparation. However, it became obvious that the problem was in taking more students than they had accomodation for and not anything else.

Of course, the data needed to be read very carefully though, because... there are lies, white lies and then there is statistics. All such statistics have caveats. Ours have them too, but none of them could change the bottomline. Of course, there is something beyond all that. It is called the "Art of Vagueness". Saying things vaguely enough to buy yourself time, and then do whatever you want when no one's looking. Do we know people who do THAT? That is what pisses me off the most in any argument.

Our concerns were clear:
(1)No one should share a room.
(2) No one should need to stay out of campus.

Their concern are not clear, but their constraints are:
(1)Only about 5 (and may be a few more) flats are available, which could accomodate 25 people (clearly a crowd).
(2)They cannot stop taking new students.

So, the situation now is that we have been asked for help to solve this problem. We have been given these constraints to work within. We could have a solution that requires a little bit of a compromise on both sides. We need to probably accept that some new students could need to share accomodation for the initial period but definitely not beyond the 1st year. They need to make the compromise to allot the said flats for students till Zion comes up, meanwhile regulate student intake to match outflow and maintain status-quo. We wont give a vague and half baked solution like them. They cant even make correct calculations about the rate of student intake and outflows, what can you expect anyway? We have a clear and precise plan, but what is the gaurantee that once we solve this problem, they wont take even more students and break status-quo?

What have they done for us to have any faith on them? Why should we solve their problems? Are we paid to do that? Where is their show of solidarity with us? Where have they made a compromise and shared this burden they are putting around our neck, which ironically is their albatross. Will somebody please answer it for me?

Currently listening to: GMD by Bodhi Tree.
Current mood: Veer-Ras.

Tu hi meri shab hai...

2006-04-25T20:18:00.000+05:30

Voices from Heaven forbade me to visit the consulate on Monday, and I did not. I did go today, and you bet I should have... but lets start at the night before.

Another GBM, and wonder of all wonders I do end up there :)
It was only so long that I could stay away from where all the drama was.
Shouted a bit in the GBM, and it seems the idea of being "quantitative" did go down well with almost everyone. In case you are wondering what is this about, read this. We were basically trying to come up with a consesus amongst us and decide our plan of action in the light of these recent developments. I really did not want to get involved in any of this, but eventually, as always, I did end up getting sucked in. Thats ok...just did some strategic data collection.

I guess I wanted to tell only one thing to those who decided to throw seniors out and/or convert single occupancy rooms in the hostel to double occupancy:

You took more and more students every successive year.
You neglected making provisions for accomodation of the new students, and duped them into believing that everything would "soon" be fine and dandy.
So why dont you move out/share flats instead of us students?
We had nothing to do with this fiasco, so dont put the blame on us. Even if all 6th year people graduated this year itself, there won't be place enough for all incoming first years with the second years getting a single room.
You screwed up! Accept that, and pay for it. Dont pass the buck on us!!!

Ok! Rant over.

So where was I? Yeah after last nite's meeting I watched some TV till early morning and then went to the consulate to get my Visa done. And would you believe it? It took just a impish little smile on m part to set everything right? Lean at the counter, smile charmingly at the girl at the counter , and her perrenial frown just melts down ;) All done in under 60 seconds. Need to collect the passport tomorrow.

Since been back, working on getting some numbers, but cannot concentrate at all.

"Soleil par ses serrures bouclées,
et ce sourire sur ses lèvres..."

P.S. the title is only because I have been listening to this song for over an hour.

Interpreter Wanted

2006-04-23T13:42:00.000+05:30

I had an unnerving dream last night.
I dreamt that I had two big, canine like teeth *remember Dracula* and that made my normal teeth move out of place and one of them in fact gave away and I had to pluck it out *booo hoooo hoooo*. I wonder what this is supposed to mean, if anything at all. Of course even if it does not mean a thing, the question still remains, why at all should anyone dream of such a thing?

Visa Woes

2006-04-21T16:41:00.000+05:30

Getting a Visa to anywhere is probably (this is my safety net) a pain in the nether-lands. And yet I have never had to face much of a problem till...

Thats where this post is about. The fate of a travelling physicist:

Day: Minus 2

Decided solemnly the night b4 "will apply for visa tomorrow". Woke up early (11:00 AM) but still too late to go to the consulate...resolve needs to be stronger.

Day: Minus 1

Stayed up all night (till 6:30 AM) talking to S. and there was no way I could have missed my visit to the consulate, I thought with a smug smile :) Wrong.

Sleep conquers All.
Does this sound familiar: "When my eyes opened I foung myself lying on my bed and it was 2:00 PM. I wonder what happened in between..."?

Wrote an email to the consulate asking for an appointment (the only way I do ANYTHING is if have told someone that I would do that. This condition is not sufficient but necessary). No reponse from the consulate till evening, and so I go and drown myself in Peach Schnapps (Note to self: must sing its praises sometime). Got sozzled enough to be able to sleep on an earthly hour and wake up before 8:00 AM next morning.

Day Zero

Wake up thrice. You know it, right?...too much schnapps. It is 8:00 AM.
Realise that there is a BEST bus strike (wow! I really deserve this).
Need to take a cab (think about a salary hike, given that all restaurants except 5 stars will get 10% costlier I was already feeling poor...).

Scene Location: Hoechst House, Marine Drive.
A queue of 15 people, "tolerable", I thought.
I fondly remember the days when I happily skipped the queue at the Italian consulate, being the invited participant at ICTP that I was...Rudely woken up by the realisation that my photo does not match the specs (and I had known this...and said to myself "Ahhh they wont care, I am going on a Scientific Visa"). I am so fu*king stupid. What was I thinking?

Anyway, I leave the queue, rush the cab to Churchgate (thoughts abt being poorer haunt yet again), get a couple of snaps. These photo-wallahs also know about this funny specs that consulates come up with, and jack up their prices accordingly. I suspect the consulates do these things deliberately. Although my dad taught me abt MRTP, its sad that I still cant do anything about these rackets. Oh, and by the way, I had to wear a blue shirt (kept in the shop and probably not washed ever...) before being snapped...That definitely was the grossest thing today. Ughhhh.

Back to Hoechst House...the queue outside has dissapeared. I go upstairs to the 8th floor and get a token (Number 45 on the line, with each token having on an average 3 applicants in a group. 2.5 counters (one or the other lady is always taking a bathroom break), 5 minutes per applicant...Now, do the math...).

Long wait later, some of us were shunted to the 10th floor to the diplomatic passport section (which means the counter lady wont be as efficient as the one downstairs).

Some co-applicants:

Mr Gupta, great man. Has kontacts with the upstair people...Keeps boasting about how he knows the Prime-Minister and how he holds the key to successful Indo-German relations. Apparently owner of a mujik company travelling to make a music video of Balwinder (sadda puttar) and Solvik (apna vadda changaa yaar hai). Now I know who makes those inane videos. With him, a lady dressed like she is 19 (tight pants et al), looks 35, and actually from the Dark Ages probably (only that can explain her qualifications: she studied Geography(Hons) with Music...Wow! that must have been some time ago), and singer Balwinder (I thought, I should ask him for an autograph) with the entourage of chikna punjoos (Flashy T-Shirt, Fake Nike all over, Baseball Cap, and punjoo accented attempts at speaking English) who were the mazicians. The Visa officer grilled them like sandwiches man...it was like one of those reality shows with the host being super-bitch to everybody a la "Your ass is too big. I'm surprised ur boyfriend has not dumped you". Vaat laga di unki to yaar...Mr. Gupta was given a mouthful and told to not be such a pompous ass, the lady reprimanded for having bunked college, the guys (in chaste hindi) "Tu wahan jaake kya karega? Angrezi to aati nahin hai...".

Mrs Gonsalves and Derek Gonsalves(Son, aged 25 I would guess): The hunk cannot talk and the lady cannot shut up. The guy can't even talk to the visa officer on his own (Momma will help him with everything you know...), he is just that dumb. And the lady just goes on with her "Jesus be kind. Jesus have mercy...let us get the visa" thingy. I mean its one thing to be faithful, and another to be stupid. What is Jesus gonna do? She had better suck up to the visa officer.

I could go on...

Anyway, back to myself. Finally "mera number aa gaya" and I went to the counter. the lady understood that i had thoroughly enjoyed watching her screw the junta's hopes and was quite nice to me actually. What I realised was that she was being nice to any body who she thought had a decent educational background (there was a guy from IIT and she hardly bugged him, in fact she was quite helpful and let him get some documents from faxed from his home, while she waited). Everyone else she treated like trash. I was happy that I was not some 10+2 pass yuppie with loads of money, for once. But lo and behold, the Hoechst House wins again. You can't win against the house they say. "You are a scientist, so you need to fll up this questionnaire...yada yada yada...and also give your CV...and please take an appointment so that you dont have to wait the next day" And I am like "CV?". **I dont even have one** Back to 8th floor full with travel agents who have come to collect passports for heir clients. I struggle against them unsuccessfully to gain access to the enquiry counter to schedule an appointment and ask for the questionnaire. And then suddenly comes in the High Commisioner! Everyone gets up, looks busy and sincere and as if their sole aim in last seven lives has been making sure that Indians go to Germany like it was their second home. I realise this is my chance. If I make a scene here, they will try to appease me. Egg-jactly! I shout **just loud enough to scare the counter guy and yet mild enough that no one inside would know...**

What is going on here? I have been standing here for ages and no one even seems to be remotely interested in helping me out. First you dont tell me clearly what documents I need, then you create complicated rules especially for scientists which is ridiculous and then you dont even give them a special treatment!

Oh! yes that is what bothered me the most (not being treated preferentially), I can say that without any shame. Now, the guys took notice, realised that I was from TIFR, gave me the forms, told me that I did not need an appointment anymore and should come on Monday (this was Friday), and they would do the needful. Suddenly things looked better and they were bending backwards to get my work done faster. **smug superior grin** Bloody! this world does not go anywhere without me being manipulative.

Decided to call it a day, and went down the elevator with the High Commisioner and could not help passing him a smile. Will get back to into the "ring" on Monday...this fight is far from over.

update: Nachiket, the guy from IIT mentioned in the post claims that he was not treated as nicely as I thought. Read his experiences on his blog. I thought I had seen him on orkut, and turns out that the link was thru kate.

A New Eye

2006-04-19T12:45:00.000+05:30

I got myself a Canon S2 IS :)
And it will be sometime before I learn using it well. However, for starters, here is one of my first shots.

A few more shots are here.

Shubho Nababarsho

2006-04-16T21:17:00.000+05:30

Yes, its a couple of days late. The Bong New Year 1413 officially began a couple of days back on Poila Baisakh, and I was caught napping (as always). However, the heavens have been kind, and it began with an extended weekend, allowing idle morons (read me) to wrap a lot of stuff and begin afresh. IMHO, this is how the Bong New Year should always begin; with three successive holidays. So yes, Shubho Nababorsho to the world.

You fill up my senses...

2006-04-14T01:38:00.000+05:30

As I stand on the verandah, I can listen to the raindrops.
I can listen to them as they fall.
A tiny pearl on the tip of a green blade. Balanced for an eternity.
Poised and delicate. And another one on the edge.

Distant mountains, that meet the sky, and the valley below.
All washed in this August rain.
Lovers drenched; the earth and sky embrace.
Rain between their mingling bodies, trickles down the trees.
Unmindful of who watches.

The sky, grey and yet not gloomy.
Like an old man looking at young lives rush by.
Too old to join in , too young to die.
Distant strains of flamenco, and childrens' voices; drenched in the drizzle.
A dash of red, and a canvas in green.

The warm cup of chamomile tea, still unsipped,
as I stand on this balsam floor.
Fragrance that floats in the air;
Wet wood, drenched earth, dripping pines, chamomile and mist.
And another familiar one...
Nostalgia, I think.

Annie's Song

You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

Let me give my life to you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

P.S. This is one of my favourites, but it is by John Denver. Yeah, I promised writing about what I imagine, when I am listening to my favourite Eagles' songs. When do I ever keep my promises?

Reservations about Reservation

2006-04-13T13:51:00.000+05:30

It is quite ridiculous, if 49.5% of IIT/IIM admissions are based on reservation politics and not on merit. However, I being myself, would rather talk about flimsy things and feel happy about my pointless existence, leaving the important things to be talked about by other people, who are saying what I would have liked to say, much better than I would have managed to. Read the Great Bong here...

The girl from yesterday

2006-04-09T16:45:00.001+05:30

He thought a lot. May be not about very important things, but about things that were important to him. There were certain things he valued more than anything else. The exact list would change with time, depending on what was going on in his life. A long cherished and held on to ideal would be relegated to the backyard, it would rust there for months, may be years and then one day he would fish it out again. So they never really got thrown away. Very much like the old greeting cards he still had pinned to his study. Or the blue windchime that tinkled rarely these days, for all the dust it had gathered. Yet, he had not parted with it. Sometimes he wondered if he would keep these with him all his life? Would he die an old man with these as his most prized possesions? One gets tied to memories.

One gets tied to ideals. Things one cannot give up on. For him it was honesty. He liked to be totally, brutally, honest. And he cared for others. But these two rarely, if ever, went hand in hand. He had to constantly decide between saying the right thing and saying the thing rightly. It is not an easy thing you see. Until the day he decided to be spontaneous and do whatever came to him first. He knew his intentions were right and probably acting on instinct was better. Better because, even if he ended up not being satisfied with the outcome, he would not blame himself. If he had spent a lot of time thinking about something and then the outcome was not what he wanted, he would be really unhappy. Now, it was a question of chance. Sometimes he would be happy, on other occasions he would just accept that the world is not perfect and neither was he. Mistakes happen. In fact they were not really mistakes.

P.S. I thought I would write a set of posts with titles borrowed from songs by the Eagles. The content is not necessarily connected to the lyrics but there is something that they share at least in spirit. Here is the link to a site that has all the Eagles lyrics.

The Girl From Yesterday

It wasn't reall sad the way they said good-bye
Or maybe it just hurt so bad she couldn't cry
He packed his things, walked out the door and drove away
And she became the girl from yesterday

He took a plane across the sea
To some foreign land
She stayed at home and tried to understand
How someone who had been so close could be so far away
And she became the girl from yesterday

She doesn't know what's right
She doesn't know what's wrong
She only knows the pain that comes from waiting for so long
And she doesn't count the teardrops
That she's cried while he's away
Because she knows deep in her heart
That he'll be back someday

The light's on in the window; she's waiting by the phone
Talking to a memory that's never coming home
She dreams of his returning and the things that he might say
But she'll always be the girl from yesterday
Yeh, she'll always be the girl from yesterday

There I go again

2006-04-03T21:56:00.000+05:30

So... the self imposed exile lasted about three weeks. Not bad I would say.
and what happened meanwhile? A fair bit if you ask me.

Holi was fun, mudbath, bhaang et al. The laced thandai did do a few small wonders :)
I have been happier since.

Quiz was fun too. Even losing is fun :)

Double wicket cricket: Just the best day of cricket I have had at TIFR. Thanks to my partner Raviraj, we did reasonably well.

Baddy: Yeh kyaa ho raha hai...interesting is an understatement!!!

Auction: Ruckus over the Dravid poster. Got myself a super-cute feline soft toy (Someone wanted to name it Amol, huh *rolling my eyes*)

Abb aage kya hoga?

I have to put finishing touches to my MS thesis and submit it to Amol for corrections.
Also have to get my visa etc ready (yeah yeah...you will read my travelogues from Munich and Bavaria soon, all my plans to stay here and work hard have gone down the drain)
I need a haircut. I know it only involves walking to NavyNagar, but who ever said my laziness was not legendary must clearly change his opinion now.
I have been planning to buy a digicam, hopefully that will happen sometime soon...more pictures then.
....and hopefully write something reasonably interesting here and not use it merely as a "Things to do" sheet.

*but why are you even reading this? huh! koi kaam nahin hai kya? jao yaar kaam karo kuchh...*

If you are so terribly jobless, may be you want to read the nice joke at the end. Oregon! Way too wild!!!

P.S. Commenting is on, so please be nice :) Thank you.

Adieu

2006-03-11T18:53:00.000+05:30

Today as my blog reaches its one year mark, I have decided to close this blog down.
Adieu.

Update 1: My new blog is on its way..almost done.
Update 2: My fickle mind tells me to not blog publicly...it need far too much effort. an unlisted blog is more feelgood with less effort. So although the new blog is up..i will let it remain unknown. may be i will change my mind later...

Toungue-tied

2006-03-10T22:41:00.000+05:30

Been listening to Roo-ba-roo in a loop for about 2 hours now I think. And still liking it!!!
Meanwhile wrote a long post and put in as a draft, obviously because I dont want to let the whole world know about that. Also wrote a lot of sentences and backspaced them...cant say a lot of things.

Interestingness

2006-03-05T13:40:00.000+05:30

Since I last ridiculed the lack of "interestingness" in a grad student's life, the Cosmos seems to have taken my words to heart. It has been gently making sure that I complain a little less. This is surely a good sign.
On the second last day of the SERC school all of us went for dinner to a place called Rajwadu. It is a part theme-park part restaurant place. The place bears the look of an old rajasthani fortress. Admittedly it is not as large, but the overall ambience is still the same. The entrance is akin one to an old garden house, as you step over the chaukath into the courtyard you recognise the smell of flowers in a bowl at the feet of the deity and the turbaned guard at attention ready to recieve you and put a tilak on your forehead. The lighting mimics the glow of earthen lamps while you are led to the centrecourt of the house which has a dozen khatiyas over which you can recline as you watched a couple of rajasthani folk dance! The danseuse started with the usual short folk-dance on Pallo latke...possibly the most popular rajasthani song, and then a long one where she balanced more and more matkis on her head while performing such feats as walking on crushed glass and standing on iron nails and swords. The performance was spectacular. But all the while, I was feeling a quite uneasy. I could not help but feel that this whole thing was too feudal. However, in the name of commercialisation everything goes. If Shahrukh Khan can dance in undies at weddings why was I amazed at the commodification of an inconsequential folk dancer. So while we sipped the watermelon juice she went about her routine. Next on, was a puppet show, which turned out to be nice. There was also a potter who showed us his skills and some of us tried their hand at it and eventually succeeded in making a few pots!
This was enough time to get really hungry. The dinner was in truly royal style. As we sat on the dhurries on the floor the food was served on brass utensils by waiters in traditional attire. Their kadhi was the the best I ever had and the entire spread comprising of rotlas, gatte ki sabzi (among others), khichdi, jalebi etc was quite delectable. Anyway I was so stuffed, that once back to my room all I was in a position to do, was SLEEP.

Next day was the last day of the school and among other things I felt a bit sad that the school was coming to an end. I would have to say that Prof. Rangarajan (Raghu) made us feel really at home and took a lot of efforts. My heartfelt thanks to him. The penultimate night at Ahmedabad was spent with my IIMA friends first dining at Tomatos, and then in their hostel. Among other things it involved being privy to institute gossip and quirky dorm-names, swigging some lemon flavoured drink about which more details cannot be given, listening to some innuendo filled bhojpuri songs and watching a birthday celebration. There are lot of things I could talk about those and we will do that sometime. But meanwhile do check out songs by the XLRI band "Bodhi Tree". They are quite popular on the campus here.

P.S. Watched Taxi No.9211 the next morning and took the train to Bombay at night.

A spoonfull of sugar...

2006-03-01T16:09:00.000+05:30

Finally another break! Monday provided the required respite from marathon lecture sessions. Whoa! Here's a journal...

10:34 A.M. - Woken up rudely by a guy asking me about getting the bedsheets in his room changed.

Now, last week I had taken the superhuman effort to coordinate between the IIM staff and the students in getting the sheets changed. This week I had made it clear that all you needed to do was, be in your room in the evening when the cleaning guys come to change the sheets. So why was he bugging me for no reason. Update:He asked me the same question 3 more times in the next 48 hrs...

11:00 A.M - Mom calls. Asks if I am fine. Tells me to go and watch Rang de Basanti.

11:10 A.M - Decided to go and eventually watch Rang de Basanti.

12:07 P.M - At the Fun Republic. Cool multiplex cum Mall. Short queue for reasonably priced (70 bucks on weekdays) balcony tickets. Not much eye candy around.

12:15 P.M - Movie starts. The firang babe is irritating. What was she thinking? Soha look pretty. Kunal Kapoor does a fine job. The 'manchurian' (looks like a hot-dog, tastes like stale bread with pickle in it) was pathetic (30 bucks. major ripoff).

12:39 P.M - The firang babe is very irritating..and so is the movie.

2:10 P.M - The second half looks a bit better. Bahut senti maara par chalo yaar thiik hai. I liked the flashback scenes, and the songs of course.

3:38 P.M - Back to IIMA. Finally some decent food(dosa, cold coffee) at the Cafe TANSTAAFL(There Aint No Such Thing As A Free Lunch). The girl at the counter looked quite irritated that I asked her what was on the menu...I mean thats not rude is it?

4:17 P.M - At NID. The BMW never dissapoints :-) Long discussion with cousin about his ad campaign ideas for Fevicol and Traveller's Outlook. Impressive.

5:13 P.M - Two glasses of orange juice. Less conversation. A little more happiness.

6:11 P.M - Return to IIMA. Chat with friend. More conversation.

7:00 P.M - Still philosophising...

8:04 P.M - Off to dine at Mirch Masala on C.G. Road.

8:20 P.M - The starters arrive. Pretty good!

8:21 P.M - Magician asks if we want to see magic!

8:39 P.M - I bow to thee, O! Great Magician! I bow before thy unfathomable sorcery!!! No really! the guy showed some really cool tricks.

8:43 P.M - Main course done. Jalebis and kulfi arrive.Amazing stuff.

9:29 P.M - Immensely satisfied. Great food! Wonderful chaats, wonderful sabzis, wonderful jalebis and most importantly wonderful magic! Mr. Magician shows one more trick on request.

10:30 P.M - Back to my room. Call up Mom. Tell her about my day. She is happy for me :-)

10:45 P.M - Friend calls. Both of us philosophise :-)

11:00 P.M - Go to sleep.

Well this is about as interesting as my day in Ahmedabad can get...why would even bother reading it till this point? Duh!

Halfway through...

2006-02-23T13:53:00.000+05:30

There is not really much to say. I dont know what I should say about the school. While I am learning a few things, I am also getting more and more frustrated at my severely limited abilities at doing physics. I am having severe problems with putting my mind to anything in particular. Sheesh! Anyway, forget it...

Meanwhile, I did go to Lothal, an Indus Valley Civilisation site, as a part of the school-trip. It was not spectacular or anything, but I liked it. I also ended up feeling that the poorest people in India today are about as comfortable as the richest people of 5000 years ago.

Conversations

2006-02-17T14:12:00.000+05:30

I know, I harp on about NID. But what to do! It IS a wonderful place. I was there last evening to meet a cousin who studies there, and it too me quite long to find him.

My cousin is studying Film and Video design. That would mean that he would either go on to make award winning short films or earn pots of money while making inane commercials. However, nice talking to him it was...about what he thinks about cinema, sound camera...all that jazz. And his plans to make better cinema :-)
I enjoy conversations of this kind. Unfortunately the circumstances segregate people of one proffession from another so strongly that this pleasure is difficult to come by.

Meanwhile I totally did not mind all the beautiful women in the BMW (the cafeteria), who seemed to be more at ease with themselves that the usual woman. They know they are beautiful and intelligent and still dont mind passing a flirty smile while they pass by you. I was almost forgetting the last time someone flirted with me! Sitting a table across to me there was this pretty girl chatting with her two friends. While two converstations went on meaningfully on two tables, a third one, very subtly proceeded across it. Unfortunately like most things one should not look for a perfect finish to perfect beginnings. An incomplete story always holds more promise for me...

Next few pages...

2006-02-14T13:50:00.000+05:30

The next few pages of the diary are quite boring, so to say. The lectures at PRL, by Urjit and Ajit have been kind of good, but after the 9 to 5 schedule I am hardly up for anything at all. Most of the evenings I have been so tired that I flopped down on the bed, only to wake up the dinner. One bright aspect of all this has been that I am sleeping early and waking up early. I cant stop fantasizing about how much work I will get done everyday, in the unlikely event that this disciplined lifestyle persists after I get back to TIFR. That apart food has been the next attraction. The food has been characteristically good - vegetarian, spicy and varied. They have not repeated a dish yet. There is always rice and rotis/parathas/puris. There is always curd (given the heat here that is such a relief) and sweets. I especially look forward to the breakfasts. Nothing feels better than starting a day clean and fresh, with a sumptuous heavy breakfast washed down with milk. I have reservations about the fried pakodas etc served as snacks in the evenings. I hardly feel like having those after a hot day. So much about food and my obsession for it. Lets talk something else now...

The IIMA campus is calm and spacious. The architecture exudes a feel of solidity and minimalism. The geometry is very well defined and there is a distinct sense of identity that the whole place has. I kind of liked the campus. We have been strolling about in the campus and it feels pretty good. I also happened to meet a couple of my seniors I did not know were here!

Yesterday evening though, P and I had the inclination to go to C.G Road, apparently the 'happening' place around. With a great commercial extravaganza scheduled for the next day, the festivities were all in place. There were lots of PYTs to watch. Of course some of them were not very young either. In general though, the place is cool. Meanwhile, I made good my loss of a pair of slippers by buying a new pair. Of course I bought exactly what I had lost.

Now, talking about loss and buying replicas, there are things you lose and you cannot buy a similar one. You are reminded of your loss every now and then - everytime you see that girl twirling her little handkerchief around her index finger, everytime to glance a certain way her hair is held together at the back with a clip. It is only a reminder of times that had been, and there is little you could do about the times that followed it. The memories of those times somehow remain trapped like a familiar perfume in the folds of your clothes.

Ahmedabad Diary

2006-02-10T11:17:00.000+05:30

And suddenly I am away from my random and boring existence at Bombay. My memories of Ahmedabad are limited to a couple of days I spent here, on account of an interview. The experience remains unforgotten, with all the bohemian culture of the place I was staying, friends I made over the endless cups of coffee across the road, nights dragging on to two in the morning. I was young, restless and raring to go and I enjoyed myself.

This time round, I have been feeling the urge to just drop everything else and go visiting some obscure place around here. Alas, that is hardly possible. After all I still remai very much of a dreamer and little of what I dream comes true. Some of the names of the places and the look of the stations on our way, were luring enough for me to get down from the train...Maninagar for instance. What would that place be like? Will it be a very busy place? Or a sleepy little town where old folks would gather around a charpoy under the banyan tree. The hookah firmly in place. I will never know now. Sitting in the computer centre of the Physical Research Labaratory, while I recount one more unfulfilled desire of mine and blog it out, all I can tell you now is that the breakfast at the PRL guest-house was quite scrumptuous(does this word exist? if not even it better, bcos this expresses my feeling correctly!).

Meanwhile let e tell you what is the place up to. The place is too sunny and dusty(read that my lips are parched and I feel like getting to my room and sleeping) for my liking. The accomodation at the IIMA's new campus is comfortable(can only help things). The PRL guest-house is decent walk from there, and the PRL institute building is somewhat further away. There are Malls, Cafe Coffee Day and Mocha outlets near the place we are staying. I have friends at IIMA and NID. So I hope that the days to come will be full of lectures(thankfully, who wants to go out in the sun?), but the evening will be reserved for frolic.

Forgotten Ideal

2006-02-09T09:01:00.000+05:30

Duhkheshvanudvignamanaah sukheshu vigataspriha |
Veetaraaga bhaya krodhah sthitadhirmuniruchyate ||

One whose mind is unperturbed in distress, without desires for happiness |
Free from attachment, fear and anger; that sage is of steadfast consciousness ||

I would beg, borrow or even steal...

2006-02-01T21:29:00.000+05:30

words like these:

"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no - I want magenta!""

-John Mayer (American Pop-star, b.1977)

How absolutely ambitious! A tad arrogant, someone might say, but what is life without some inperfection. I guess my blog header was chosen with exactly this kind of an analogy in my mind.

Then again, here is a quote, on accepting imperfections.

"So who's perfect? Washington had false teeth. Franklin was nearsighted. Mussolini had syphilis. Unpleasant things have been said about Walt Whitman and Oscar Wilde. Tchaikovsky had his problems, too. And Lincoln was constipated."

- John O'Hara (American writer, 1905-70)

And while I am at it, a certain quote from Lincoln cannot go unmentioned:

"Truth is generally the best vindication against slander."

-Abraham Lincoln (US President(1861-65), 1809-1865)

Could he have been any wiser, I wonder.

Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

2006-01-31T07:27:00.000+05:30

Ok! all right! So you dont have any work. Then listen to my other woes. For they are far from ordinary.

My socks are missing. You think this is a joke? You better take this seriously.
What is it with socks, you would say? I say - who knows?
Dont believe me? Decide for yourself-

Ques:Remember what Dumbledore sees in the Mirror of Erised?
Ans:Himself in a new pair of socks *wink wink*

Ques:What is it that Dobby would do anything for?
Ans:Socks again. Bingo!

May be there is some universe shattering fact about socks that we humans have not discovered yet.
May be wearing 42 socks at the same time allows one to do stuff normally thought to be impossible?
Who knows?

However, my question is what is special about my socks?
I am no John Lennon or Marilyn Monroe that people crave for my dirty socks and pay millions for it. My socks, kept outside my room, neatly tucked into my shoes, dissapeared just like that!
Okay... I know that it could be the dog or the rat. But both socks? Very unlikely.However, lets give it to the rat.

There is but a bigger mystery in store. I told some of my friends about the missing socks incident and joked that the next thing I will see is that my shoes are missing. And you bet that it was bound to happen! As soon as I return to my room I find my *ohh so favourite* pair of sandals missing! Now this is most certainly a rat. Albeit, of a two legged variety.

P.S. Please dont now misinterpret this as an attack on someone!!! This is a veiled attempt at posting a notice for my lost pair of sandals (black, Nike-ACG).

Comfortably Numb

2006-01-30T23:52:00.000+05:30

There was some (this is a major hyperbole) misunderstanding in the last few days.
Fortunately a mail from a spectating fellow blogger clarified certain things and I have since done whatever I could ease the situation out. Knowing that I did NOT create a misunderstanding makes me feel quite relieved. I was guilty on the account that I did rake up someone's past to get my point across. Admittedly that was cheap thing to do. I apologise for that before all of you. I should have known how seriously one should take slander coming from regular sources.

Any way...here is the good part! I get to learn something :-)

1)I severely lack a sense of humour. No one with a sense of humour would ever reply the way I did.

2)I do need to be a bit more careful about my choice of people I hang out with.

3)May be I should also ask my friends to let me know of my shortcomings. I know that would be a long list...but well this is your chance to spew venom at me. Get back at me for all the evil things I have done to you in my seventeen previous lives and this one. Dont miss the opportunity.

Infantile Wisdom

2006-01-19T17:05:00.000+05:30

After nine months of gestation my blog finally has something to say about itself, its distant brothers and sisters, their proud parents and his life or lack of it...you get the idea, right?

Disclaimer: This monologue is the property of a perverted, excitable, uber-eager infant. Be forewarned. No complaints of harassment (mental or physical) will be entertained. Ever.

Why am I here? 'cos my daddy likes to fuck. With his mind of course.
No seriously, I heard him tell some people that he had me just by chance.
Or rather, by induction.
Other people are doin' it.
Let me do it too. And somehow he decided not to abort. So here I am.

What have I been doing? Voicing myself from Within of course.
Which just goes to show how numb-skulled the world must be to even allow demented fellows like me to talk. And what exactly have I been talking? Mostly rubbish.

And it seems there are more people like my daddy. And they have kids too.
May be some of them were not as much of an accident as me. Wondering if this is some nautanki or what? You bet this is...

Dramatis Personae

Mr.Goody-two-shoes:
"I got the highest marks mommy" variety.
"I know everything about the state of the world and even have an opinion on it. I know. Period."
I mean okay...their parents are erudite people, but he is just as immature a kid as I am. So why is he getting all the attention? And the comments and the links and awards. All because my dad is a fucking (only in the mind again) lazy bum. He does not read anything of substance. He does not spout any poetry. I wonder if I could disown my dad for criminal negligence of duties? Such a no-can-do fellow.

Laughter Therapists:
Tech geeks who make you laugh make you go LMAOROTF. But wait! They are just saying what the daddy told them. They aren't funny. Their daddy is. At least thats a consolation. But who ever told my dad that engineering was boring needs a nice little kick on the ass. Why did my dad not do his B.Tech in Civil engineering? Even if he did not learn how to be funny, he would have at least made some money.

Vatsayana Reborn:
Reincarnation of an ancient belle and she knows the Kamasutra by fucking rote. Really sexy this one...seems like Vatsayana did something queer to Vyasa. And the asshole that my dad is he cant even fuck in the mind like this. I am missing out all the fun. This no fair.

Lady Hump-a-lot:
Okay! why is this kid trying to pass of her mom's adventures as hers' ? I am yet a virgin and I am getting frisky and I am getting a combo offer of frustration and temptation here. Wow!!! This will do great things to my infant psychology. I guess I should sue for child abuse. But hey! Why is my dad so deprived of life? Poor fellow...

D.Lit with the Cl*t (for a brain of course):
Whats with all these English honours types? Whys is their life more colourful than mine. Even "Rin Supreme" wont be of much use here. It works only for "Uski saree mere se safed kaise". No really! Why did my fucking daddy not do a major in Humanities? I would at least get to fuck a few of those chicks..correction.. at least get mentioned in their mom's link-lists. But isn't tolerating the nakhras of their 30 year old moms trying to pass off as 20 not enough? You fucking have to put up with so much post-modern shit which smells just as bad. If my dad had any brains he would at least do an Alan Sokal on them.

The hot journos:
If you thought you could write. Go commit suicide. These people are here to prove that you cant. At least as good as them. My dad deserves to die. And again why is their lives better than my dad's? He is not a sinner is he? He is only a mediocre (not some MIT, Princeton fellow) physics grad student you see...is that his fault? Kindly adjust.

The Mafia:
As it is this world seems screwed up that almost everyone here is a single parent. I wonder who ordered for these orgies then? They seem to be having all the fun! I ask are you selling tickets? Or is it by invitation only? My dad is feeling so left out. If dad had only joined that esteemed design school when he got the chance, instead of the geeky boring place that he is in right now, he would have cooler friends, flashier credentials, sexy ladies by the side and a few gay boyfriends. Could they have refused him entry then? Naaah...

keeping the list incomplete but ending with,

Wannabes:
And of course when there are weirdos there are wannabe weirdos. And parents of wannabe weirdos who want their kid onstage too. Trying their best, so as to put the child into one of the above careers. Some performance pressure this...ugh? I guess this is where most of us are. I mean have you wondered what will it be like to be in school with these people? Or pee alongside, in the toilet. I feel insecure already. All because of my dad. Dad!!! get your act together!!!

p.s. To see meet some of these people, click away at the blogorama section and lose yourself in that motley crowd. Then decide for yourself. and just in case you thought otherwise, my dad is absolutely happy the way he is (which is the problem) and likes these people and their kids...Not in that way pervert!

House of Glass

2006-01-08T22:16:00.000+05:30

A taxi ride sometimes is not just only a taxi ride. It is an experience. Sometimes it could be because of a certain someone with whom you sit at the back and watch the rearview mirror carefully to make sure that the driver is not watching. Sometimes because of an enlightening and heart warming conversation you have with the taxi-wallah who hails from the same town as yours and sometimes because of some dhin-chak moojik on the tape with a pirated cassette. Depends on the mood.

Tonite the dhin-chak moojik was bhojpuri. Believe me, it rocked.

There is a different kind of lilt and rhythm in the music and such a nice earthy feel to it. Everytime I hear the dholak and the harmonium, there is a nice vivid imagery that crops up in my mind. One that of happy hardworking people, who respect their tradition, culture, and elders. It may seem trivialising it a bit, but Rituparno Ghosh's Raincoat did at least have a couple of moments to have given that warm fuzzy feeling. Anyway I digress too much...

In Banaras, right next to our ancestral house there lived some Bhojpuri families. I really do not reacll very much of them. The last time I was there was about two years back after a hiatus of 7 years, that too for only a day and still they could recognise me. I was surprised and moved. My uncle was telling me a story about their marriages. This must be a story from the 60s or at most early 70s. These people were not very well to do. Living in a galli of Banaras in Luxa, they had a green whitewashed house alright, and lots of people in the house. Young boys would be flying their kites all day long on the roof, the old grandma would lie on the khatiya in the darm dingy room and the other women would make little glass bindis and bangles of a myriad colours. I never saw the elder male members of their family, may be they worked all day. Every once in a while they would have a marriage in the house. One of the customs they had was to invite the groom to lunch. The groom would take his seat and refuse to eat a single morsel of food. Then the girl's family would try and appease the young boy.

Babua kuch kha leho...Tanik to kha leho..Ee chain tho le leho and gift him a gold chain. Ab to kha leho... the boy still does not eat. Ee baja le lo and gift him a transistor (radio for the inglish types). Finally they also gift him a bicycle and he eats. Then later when his friends ask him Biha mein ka milalba ? he says with pride Baja milalba... Aur ka milalba ?... Saikil milalba...and so went life.

When the girl would come back from her Sasural because she was expecting, to her parents place, the in-laws would send her a lot of sweets and small gifts for others in the household. In the winter, they would have a small wood-fire on the roof and sing Kajri around it till late. The flowing ghaghras and the huge silver ornaments in place, the women would seem so happy and drunken in festivity...

May be, not everything about those traditions and customs were right, but I think we will be no different from a cold western society if some of these small things no longer existed.

A nice RJ

2006-01-06T18:10:00.000+05:30

Being a grad student has its advantages. One need not always be present in the institute. After lunch today, I decided to go back to my room and "study". The weather being kind of pleasant here in Bombay right now even sitting in your room, doing nothing in particular yet looking at the sunrays slide into the room, listening to the radio and flipping through a paper on Little Higgs Theories is a uber-comfortable thing.

Anyway cut to the point.
There is this RJ called Aniruddh on RadioCity (91 MHz). I have been listening to this guy for some three years now - "Main hoon apka deewana number one to infinity" type stuff. On the radio his image is one of "aapka (ladies in particular) pyaara auntiyon ka dulaara Aniruddh". Very carefully created image. Whenever he talks its in a hyper romantic singsong and everything. Nothing extraordinary there.
Today on his show, he had invited the Taxi and Rickshaw drivers to call up and speak to him. The usual two minute conversations. I felt very good about the gesture. You will see why.

Aniruddh(A): Hello maine kaha hi. Aap kaun bol rahen hain?
Girish(G): Hi, main Girish. Aaj pahli baar mera phone laga hai. Aap se baat karke bahut achha lag raha hai.
A:To Girish bhai aap rickshaw chalate hain?
G:Haan saab.
A:Kitna kama lete hain mahine mein?
G:Yahi koi do-dhai hazar.
A:Itne mein guzara ho jata hai aapka?
G:Haan.
A:To aap khush hain?
G:Bilkul khush hain. Jitna mila hain usi mein khush rahna chahiye.
A:Kya baat kahi. To aap apne kaam se khush hain?
G:Haan par chhota kaam hai. Log izat nahin karte.
A:Jaise?
G:Yahi jaise "oye rickshaw" kehke baat karte hain, thoda izzat se baat karne se acchha lagta hai.
.
.
.
it goes on like that, and at the end
A:Aap ka phone karne ka bahut shukriya. Aur main aapko bahut bahut thank karna chahunga, aap hamein jagah jagah pahunchate hain, hamari zingagi mein aapka bahut yogdan hai. Main poori Mumbai ki taraf se aapka shukriya ada karna chahunga.

Now, I know this is standard stuff. However I am happy that at least some of us are making an effort to reach out to people like Girish, even with their limited resources. Making the people of this whole country know that irrespective of how much money we earn, how we dress, where we stay, and all that jazz,
WE ARE ONE PEOPLE and WE CARE.

Mixed Pickle

2006-01-04T23:37:00.000+05:30

Some poetry feels like a red silk tassel. Bright shiny strands, that softly slide over each other. Some, more like a single white thread. Minimal. Some feels like a carpet of dried leaves. Rustling orange. The morning mist around Loktak Lake. Silent blue. And then the lush green of a rainwashed Himachali valley. Whenever I close my eyes.

But I run away from poetry that reminds me of a burning sun and the earth that is a hot tin plate. Yet it haunts.

********

I was being told that I was too stressed out. I told that to myself too. However I was refusing to believe any of that till I found an antidote. Yesterday I accepted that I was tensed. However I had struck upon the panacea by then. Yippee.
I realised I had stopped laughing. I remember myself laughing all the time, on the stupidest jokes, worst PJs and even just to myself. Somewhere in the last three years I had become too staid for anyone's good. Yesterday I realised that I needed to laugh a bit more. Thats all.

Brand New Day

2006-01-03T14:13:00.000+05:30

My new year begins today. Wish you a very satisfying new year ahead. As I write there are hammers and chisels working on the plywood partition in our office threatening to bring it down. I wont say that is such a bad thing because thats the only way our office can get renovated. Same for the security drills at the gates and everywhere else. I dont have any problems showing my ID to the guy at the gate if its his duty to ask for it. Lets all do our assigned tasks and we will all be happy. Amen.

OK now! Lets get back to the usual light hearted chatter...
*even this sounds like hitler asking everyone to dance at a yule ball, i wonder when will i learn to be a bit more relaxed. bear with me for now*
The weather here in Mumbai is better than in Calcutta now. Its warmer here and warm winters are so much better. I am waiting for the Kala Ghoda Festival to begin. Last year I felt real good about it. The fusion bands and the plays and everything just rocked. The cute female at the helpdesk made sure I visited the place every single evening. This year I hear Konkona Sen Sharma has been requested to make a small film for the festival along with three more women directors and I am looking forward to it. I just hope everything is free like last year so that poor fellows like me can afford to go to the discotheque upstairs to listen to some decent music. Any of you people making plans for the festival? Let me know if you dont consider me too much of a menace.

Meanwhile in Calcutta I spent a couple of hours with a dear friend on the eve of Christmas. In all one of the best days of the vacation I spent. Its rare to find such intelligent yet caring and sensible people. Must thank her for taking out the time.

I am EXTREMELY scared of my academic performance. The only paper I was able to write in the last year got a demanding referee report and while all of the objections can be answered I have now lost the enthusiasm to work on that problem. I am completely unsure of what I want to do in the next two and a half years. I dont even have anything to work on right now. I will have to get my MS thesis out of the way at least. I need to talk to some people about my acads given that my advisor is a bit preoccupied. For now I have decided to not take another vacation before next December barring a school in February that I had commited to already.

On a completely different track again...
Someone tells me of a certain error message he recieved while trying do something to his computer:"Unsupported Private Request".
At least computers say that clearly.

A raindrop melody

2005-12-13T11:11:00.000+05:30

I could not do it any longer. Loving someone who could desert me anyday, is something I could not do. It hurt my self respect. It never mattered to you, if I was with you or not. You never valued me, said she.

It hurt to hear what she said, but truth it was. The leaf must learn to be still. Learn to be not afraid of the Sun and the Winds. It must hold on to its precious drop of life, come what may. It must let her know that he would do anything just to be with her. That she means the world to him.

But 'twas late already and she was no longer his. Yet the world is not lost. Seasons will change and so will the direction of the winds. They would meet again and talk of the paradise lost. Or may be, they wont talk about that ever again.

The sky was overcast and the caravan of white seagulls against the silver clouds looked like Chameli flowers in the tresses of a dark village belle - Shankhini. But hers' is another story and that is for another day.

Humour matters

2005-12-09T18:25:00.000+05:30

Today a very eminent physicist, Mike Creutz gave a talk at TIFR. All through the talk I could not help but wonder how different a physicists vocabulary is from others. All technical people have their jargon, which is expected. However physicists tend to "visualize" the abstract. Therefore end up using a very commonly used word for something much more difficult to understand. So now I will give some funny consequences of the above and some bcos I find them funny :-) Wish me a happy vacation...

Q: Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."

Q: Which right-hand rule do students use on bad physics professors?
A: Step 1: Extend your right arm forward from the elbow. Step 2: Keeping your palm facing to the left, stick out your middle finger. Step 3: Rotate your hand 90 degrees clockwise.

Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?

The Heineken Uncertainty Principle says "You can never be sure how many beers you had last night."

There is a sign in Munich that says, "Heisenberg might have slept here."
(I got this one a bit late...remember Heisenberg Uncertainty again)

Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From the back, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.

Nights of Gabo

2005-12-08T14:18:00.000+05:30

Just finished reading "Memories of My Melancholy Whores" over the last night and cant resist sharing my thoughts. To begin with let me say, I had not read any of his works before this (Yes! I know I am a sun-baked troll), but now I plan to read at least a few more. The anachronism and the somewhat non-linear narrative is probably what had me totally.

The way a man, over ninety years old, learns to love for the first time, after an entire life of spending nights in brothels is an intriguing tale. It was as if the man's adolescence had got back at him after so many years having been deprived of its existence many years back.

At the time when most people would prepare to go to NewYork (see postscript), he decides to present himself with the gift of a 14 year old virgin. Night after night for 10 years, he keeps watching his "Delgadina", lying naked on the bed asleep like a child, and discovers that he could be in love, become jealous, and begin to care for someone.

P.S. NewYork is where he supposes all people go, after they are dead :-)
P.P.S. Would love to know what other people think of it...

***

The way he talks about his past and of his escapades is unreal. I mean, it feels after reading this that love is a feeling that does not respect age. One could be as mature as one wishes to, but when that person falls in love there is absolutely nothing that distinguishes him from a lovelorn teenager.

Mental Note

2005-12-07T13:20:00.000+05:30

I have been extremely flippant over a long time. Today I will take stock of how the last six months have been spent. You could call this a balance sheet, though it wont tally.

Good things:(in no specific order)

* Attended two schools on Particle Physics.
* Saw a bit of France and Italy.
* Gave a couple of talks in the Journal Club.
* Kept fit and did not fall ill.
* Wrote a paper and sent it for publication.
* Learnt some new things and therefore feel much more at ease with my work.
* Became single again.
* Began spending a little more money.
* Started keeping my room VERY clean.

Bad things:(again in no specific order)

* Did not maintain a schedule.
* Did not study SUSY as was supposed to.
* Was MEAN a few times.
* Did not make my MP3 compilation.
* Did not start writing my MS thesis yet (and I have 3 yrs to get outta here!!!)
* Did no physical exercises whatsover regularly.

Wilde Imagination

2005-12-06T11:56:00.000+05:30

He: I find you so beautiful...
*Looking at his own feet, never meeting her in the eye*

She: Flattery would get you everything my dear!
*Smiling slyly and reaching across the table*

He: Yeah! Everything. But 'earnestness' is not getting me anything...
*Now his turn to smile slyly*

She: So! What is it that you desire Mr. Earnest?
*Arching an eyebrow with the smile still in place*

He: If I were a poet I would have said, "You"...
*Holding her hand and looking in her eyes*

Past Perfect, Future Tense

2005-12-04T21:01:00.000+05:30

The week that went by has been quite arguably the best week for me in recent past. After a tame start to the week, which allowed me to sleep a lot, I finished up reading something and gave a decent alk on it. I think it was a decent talk, and you better believe that.OK?

Soon it was Friday and the Terrace Party was a much awaited thing after two years. There were some issues of course, but we will choose to think of those as freak events. The huge turnout was in itself a proof that most of us are dying to get some variety into our lives.

A steady supply of beer ensured inhibitions were shed quickly. Most people were busy shaking a leg, others were busy watching them. I must mention that some people do look much better if they want to! Specially when dancing ;-)

The food and the beer kept flowing, though I heard we did run out of the non-vegetarian fare. I can speak for myself that I was so bloody tired after my exertions on the dance floor (nothing to talk about there...) that I hardly ate anything. The jalebi and rabri were cool though.

Anyway at some point of time I had to leave the party to arrange for a final crate of beer. When I was back, I had to endure (in a fun way) some really stupid "shers"(courtesy Niraj etc...I wonder how cranky can one get???) and PJs(courtesy some guys I dont know...). I booed them as much as I wanted to, and no one minded :-) But it was good fun. Thanks to the organisers. I say, we should have parties more often.

******

The whole of next week will be usefully wasted attending the SRHIC conference and so many talks that are lined up. The I leave for Calcutta on Friday night, for three weeks! Yippeeeeee.

There is someone's 25th wedding anniversary to attend and I want to buy a gift, but I dont know what! It is not making my life any simpler that the "someone" happens to be my Mom and Dad! This is so corny!!! I mean buying a gift for one's parents!!! Who ever started this sh*t!!! Ok, now someone help me with this...

Many places I call home

2005-12-03T15:21:00.000+05:30

There is more than one place I call home. Here is a short summary.

Khetri: Thats where I was born and I remember nothing of the place. Not very far away from Pilani, this place in Rajasthan is where my parents met, and got married. I would see this place consciously only 16 years later when I go to Delhi.

Calcutta: Soon we shifted to Calcutta and this would be my home for many years to come. We initially stayed in a rented house at Raja Basanta Roy Rd. and later at Jatin Baghchi Rd. I do not have too many recollections, but distinctly remember my playmate called Divya :-) I was studying in South Point School.
In 1986, I guess we had moved house to Kanishka Apartments in Jadavpur to the place I still call home.

Deoghar: Of course, in 1991 itself I had been packed off to a boarding school, Ramkrishna Mission Vidyapith, in Deoghar. I would spend about nine months a year in the school and be home only for holidays. It was a period where I learnt a lot of things and became the person that I am.

Delhi: Starting 1998, I lived here alone/with friends for two years. Coming out of a very protected environment in the boarding school Delhi was heavenly. I had to come to terms with some of my more complex emotions and yet perform academically. It was a period of extremes and I went through extended periods of euphoria and agony. Bersarai felt claustrophobic and MIS in Aurobindo Ashram felt like Nirvana. But I wont be there all my life would I?

Kolkata: Yes, lot of things had changed by this time, including the name of the city. Quite confused about what I wanted to do, I eventually ended up studying for my Bachelors in Physics at Jadavpur University. I met some of my closest friends, chalked out my career plans and learnt to take it easy.

Mumbai: Soon I was at TIFR in Mumbai and thats where I am going to be for about three more years, I would say. Here it feels like, finally I am an adult living on my own. I am slowly beginning to get to terms with the fact that this is where home is. As of now at least. From here, who knows where?

P.S. There is so much more to say about each of these places, the people, the experiences and the places that I went to from there...hope to do that sometime.

It isn't time that's passing

2005-12-01T06:15:00.000+05:30

Remember the long ago when we lay together
In a pain of tenderness and counted
Our dreams: long summer afternoons
When the whistling-thrush released
A deep sweet secret on the trembling air;
Blackbird on the wing, bird of the forest shadows,
Black rose in the long ago summer,
This was your song:
It isn't time that's passing by,
It is you and I.

This is from Ruskin Bond. He is a favourite of mine.

Haiku time

2005-11-26T21:06:00.000+05:30

Dada getting runs
India losing it badly-
I'm not interested.

Major squabbles on
Kicking ass with all aplomb-
Why even bother?

It's stupidity.
Initially I thought:
Immaturity.

Drop of Life

2005-11-23T03:40:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time there was a big banyan tree. There were birds in it and people would sit underneath. The people would walk by, ask the old man how his son was doing in the city. The four young lads would sit there all day. The people would come and go and life would go on. The leaves on the tree would dry up and fall. Dance their way down, all the way. Sometimes they would lie in the dust for days together. One such leaf, I know of. It fell. And it waited. It never expected anything to happen really. What could ever possibly happen? A raindrop from the heaven, full of sunshine, kissed it and hid herself in the earth. It was only a moment that they remained with each other. They talked, they told stories to each other, they laughed together. They even imagined that they would be together forever. But that wont be, for the leaf would need time before it could be one with the earth. And the raindrop would not wait you see! The next day the sun came out again. The raindrop was there no more. She had left for the skies. The leaf still lied there. Waiting. It never expected anything to happen really. What could possibly ever happen?

A whole week ahead

2005-10-31T18:48:00.000+05:30

Every time there is a festival that comes up, its time again for me to think what should I be doing. This time its a little bit less boring. My parents were here for the whole of last week, and I had nice weekend break in Ganapatipule with them. So the feeling of being alone is somewhat less. On the other hand, this is also a time when I have finished a project on my academic front, taken a short break and now should get back to work. There are so many things I should have already read by now. They need to be read. There are new things to read too. Then I have to get started on a new project, after I concoct a project to work on. In the light of these facts, the current mood is one of trying become somewhat more disciplined at work and one of enriching oneself. A whole week ahead could be useful.
However all I have been doing is read a few blogs. If blogs present the individual realistically, I found someone who must be very much like me. I almost started wondering how would it be like to try and get in touch? Is it a nice feeling when two people are alike in many respects, or is it boring and unstable?

Antiseptic

2005-10-23T12:10:00.000+05:30

What are we talking about? We are talking about people again. What kind of people? Geeks. What do you picture in front of you? Someone with glasses poring over a a book? No! They are bookworms. I am talking about Geeks.

These people are possibly the most ill understood species in the world.

Some things are certain:

They are genuinely interested in their work.They they wont take a long vacation even if given the option to. They cant stay away from their work. In other words - they are passionate about what they do. It is of great importance to them, that they can do what they do.

Getting laid is very important too to them (anyone not agreeing is either lying or very weird even amongst this weird community). However its not more important than work. Somehow, it doesnot even seem as difficult either ;-) still we all have bad experiences...sigh!

What most of these people have, is absolute hatred for showoff. Please dont do that. These people cant stand people who speak with authority when they dont even know the person in front is much more knowledgeable abt the subject than he/she is.

They also hate people who are dumb and pretend otherwise. Its not a crime to be dumb. It is a flaw to hate. But well, Geeks are Humans too.

But there are things that are not so certain:

He is humble, helpful, and useful. No! he does not go to a discotheque on his own. Yes, he stares at people. He thinks simply, means good. Has a completely different sense of humour. Is sincere in anything he does. He is a tad boring. But he is safe behind the wheels. He is welcome to date someone. He is too afraid to ask her out. And when he feels completely comfortable with you he is also one hell of a fun fellow to be with. He knows his Art, Literature, History, Science and Politics well. He also reads Bombay Times and ogles at the pics. And yes! Sorry! he does not come in strawberry/chocolate flavour. Its good old plain vanilla. He does not have to conform to all of the above. He may well conform to all/none of the above.

My take on it:
WE CANT TYPECAST GEEKS.
May be we can Geek Code them...that is cool actually ;-) On second thoughts, may be we really can? Or may be not! There will always be details....I presume.

(No this is not a self contradictory post!!!! It was only my stupid way of saying 4 accurate words, wrapped in a lot of junk. Choose what you want...)

i me meself

2005-10-18T18:17:00.000+05:30

I am soooo boring!!! Always cautious, never go out of the way.
I mean when will I learn to understand when someone is joking, when someone is pulling my leg and when someone is being seriously mean to me?
When will I take it easy and not take myself so seriously?
Never! Why should I? I am good this way. Like it or not...I want people around me, who understand this and act accordingly.

I'm not busy anymore: random things

2005-10-15T18:42:00.000+05:30

Somethings just never seem to get over. Writing a paper is one of them. There are corrections and more corrections and graphs need to be redrawn and recolored and what not! However, my first one seems to be well beyond that phase and waiting to be commented over by some wiser people up there.
This means that suddenly I am free!

*******************

My pictures from Les Houches and Paris came up online meanwhile.
I was feeling quite nostalgic about those places. Though I guess the pics are not that bad, being there was somewhat different. I dont know exactly why, but somehow I have been thinking about lonely it must be to stay alone in a place as beautiful as that. Every good things makes me want to share it with more people, and being all alone is not exactly such a heart warming thought.

*******************

Why am I being so indecisive? I know I should just shake off my inertia and get out of my circle of comfort. The whole world is wide open.

*******************

Some words that came to my mind (possibly some words are not in place, which just makes them original work of literature):

The world owes me happiness. I am here to cash in.

Open a book, open your mind.

A closed mind is a good thing to lose.

Whoa

2005-09-13T00:19:00.000+05:30

...
Originally uploaded by Iv0/0vi.

Ever since I have been back, I have been spending really long hours in front of my screen. I have not found time to breathe. The pictures from the last trip are still suffocating inside my camera or inside their little plastic containers and have not seen the light of day yet. Neither have I been able to mail people regularly or chat them up. The only thing that has improved is my self assessment. I happy that am doing something. I am also very happy that most people from the last school have kept in touch and keep yelling over e-mail. Another thing that has been keeping me happy is the warm feeling that one experiences in one's heart when after a long time one gets back to home. And in my case it is in more ways than one...

Paris and Back

2005-08-29T06:21:00.000+05:30

Once the school got over, the feeling of desperation to get back to India was unbearable. I really wanted to get back to some place I could call home. However, Sudhir (a really nice guy, and I stayed in his flat in Paris) took such good care of me that I felt I was home.
The journey from Les Houches to Paris was not all that tiring. I feel, once you have been on a road, it seems easier and shorter! Well! Cite Universitaire, (where Sudhir's studio is) is itself a quite picturesque place, with an old fashioned look about the place. The first evening, I decided to stay in the studio and rest for the long day ahead. Of course, I must also commend Sudhirs's culinary skills which made sure I ate too much and felt like resting a while. I also liked the corn chips toooo much.

Sunday was going to be hectic. I had to see as much of Paris as could. I started with the Louvre at 9 in the morning and was there till about an hour after noon. Its impossible to do see even the tip of the iceberg that Louvre is in a such a short time, so decided to look the most popular bits like Monalisa, Venus de Milo, Crown Jewels of Louis XIV, Napolean III's apartments, Egyptian antiquities, Code of Hammurabi, The Seated Scribe and a load of other stuff. I have two things to say about them. One, that I felt great about REALLY being able to see all the legendary stuff that I had only seen in history texts. Two, I felt kind of bad that the French, just like all other imperialists, had robbed other nations of their heritage to build this huge treasure trove. However, as long as they keep it properly, its ok I guess.

Saint Chapelle had the best stained glass windows I have ever seen (not many).
The Notre Dame cathedral on the other hand, was different. It felt good to be there, with people lighting candles and praying. Arc de Triomphe was somewhat pale compared to all the great things I saw before. Champ Ellyses and Rue de Rivoli were very nice to walk through, with a view of the city - bursting at the edges with tourists. The cafes on the roadsides, the artists, all of it makes the city looks like a fest. On the way back to the studio, I heard some great music in the subway being played by a band of musicians, possibly latin american.

After a nice dinner (pasta and wine) at the studio, I (with Sudhir) went to the Eiffel Tower at late night and saw the city all lit up. The lawns were strewn with people from all over the world who had come all the way for that one kiss under the iron tower. Sometimes its so much of a pleasure to see so many people happy and being able to fulfil their desires of the heart, that one gets overwhelmed. Watching all the people there was definitely one of the best moments.
Next morning I was all set to get back to Mumbai. The flight was delayed by two hours and I was back to familiar territory once more.

Almost time

2005-08-25T20:51:00.000+05:30

The school is drawing to a close. People have already started leaving, though there are a couple of lectures, yet to be delivered. Mostly prompted by the unavailabilty of airline tickets on a friday. So this prompts some last words.
The overall experience was good. I guess I overreacted initially when I said the people were not that nice. The food on the other hand did not turn out to be as great as I had thought it would. The lectures were the best part, closely followed by the experience of staying in the Alps for a month and hiking around. One thing missed sorely was the warm atmosphere that a sunny day creates, with beautiful people around and the buzz. Mainly because the weather played a killjoy for a very long time. Well its drizzling even now!

Yesterday of course was a great dinner at Chamonix. It was dear, but delicious.
The place: La Atmosphere
The menu: Goat cheese toast with green salads, cheese fondue and fresh strawberries with lychee sorbet.
The wine:Pinot Noir.
The waitresses: OK.
The ambience: Sober, but warm.

Rain Shine

2005-08-20T17:05:00.000+05:30

The last week has been very uneventful on the outside. Inside it has been tumultous. Lets get the mundane out of the way first, by enumerating what "happened" over the week. In short, very little. It rained most of the time, and so it was difficult to go anywhere. The lectures at the school were good as usual. The food at the restaurant varied and I chatted with people here endlessly and to no end. So thats about it. Now about the things that have been going on in my head.
I have been disturbed, to say the least, over the last week. Over things that may seem irrelevant or inconsequential to most. I kept wondering why it was so difficult, to get people who would be genuinely as nice to you as you were to them. Who would be tolerant of your limitations as much as you are of them. It is not much to expect, but it is also something that one should not expect from everyone. Moreover "Time" is of essence here too; it takes that wee bit more time for us that we expected, to get comfortable with each other. With that realisation, my spirits are up again on that front.
However there is more. I said it was tumultous, did I not? How should one feel about a relationship, that has been given its time. All along it never was apparent that it was for the keeps, but one kept hoping and waiting. The longer this period of indecision, the more difficult it got to say goodbye. Eventually, the parting will be a silent affair. There would be solitude once more, but that will be the time for introspection and making new roads ahead.

*************************************************************************************

It has been drizzling here for a long time. The mist laden wind veils the mountains from my eyes. The wooden huts and pine trees close by, out in the cold, weep incessantly the tears of an august rain. Greens, of myriad shades, evolve into each other and seep into the mind. And there is peace, there is calm.

More doodles...

2005-08-16T03:06:00.000+05:30

It was great fun on Saturday, to go to the Glacier de Bossons and then walk further to Les Pyramides and Le Jonction. The final summit was at 2589 mts and we started at about 1000 mts, so it was a kilometre and half of climbing in a stretch of four and a half hours. Tomer, Guy and Rubakov were with me and I liked it much better than all my previous treks. This one was on the same route as that used by Balmat when he scaled the Mont Blanc for the first time. In fact we went right where he had taken refuge. The terrain initially was alpine woods and remained that way till we were at about 2000 mts with the exception of one stretch where we could see the Glacier de Bossons. We had a look at the glacier and moved on. At Les Pyramides we had a cup of hot chocolate at a refuge and soon after reached an altitude of 2000 mts, where the terrain became sort of rocky, with lots of grass around, but hardly any trees. At 2500 mts all the grass was gone and all we had was a rocky landscape and a sea of ice in front of us. It was tremendous to walk on the icea and feel so close to the mountains. The view of the entire Aguille range, with Aguille de Midi in particular was fascinating. We lucky that the weather inspite of not being very sunny had not played spoilsport. When we started retreating, lots of clouds closed in and it became very cold. However it was sunny once we came down within three hours.

Sunday, I needed to rest because my knees were sore after the exertions on Saturday.

Monday, the day started as usual, however the lecture on Extra Dimensions by Gherghetta lifted my spirits. The remaining day was usual, until after dinner I happened to play table tennis against Rubakov. Now, let me tell this, Rubakov is one of the best lecturers I have seen, and possibly also the nicest people I have met. He is very friendly with students inspite of being 50 years old. He smokes quite a bit(a pack everyday since he was 17, according to his own confession) but surprisingly he is fitter than most of us. He did not strain visibly on the hike and proved quite difficult to defeat on the table tennis board too. I also happened to go to Chamonix with some school mates and play some pool at a parlour. There were lots of teenagers around, and of course the liberal peppering of pretty young things. Good to watch. Its midnight now, and I must sleep. So, farewell; only for a little while.

Drunk after dinner

2005-08-12T01:06:00.000+05:30

hey tiday you ahve to forgive me for osting stuff that is unedited. there will be spelling mistales and there will be errors, but pls take that in the spitirt of tyhe post.i am drunk somewhat..that is the message.
the dinner tonite was cheese fondue and wine and dessert was chocolate cake...
had some wine ..yes...the wine was great...and i am feeling great...
most people rae feeling great i guess...
i love my life...
in the alps...drunk of wine...what more can i ask for....
love you all...

Weekend

2005-08-08T17:27:00.000+05:30

Saturday was lazy. All day Tomer, Reentko, Guy and I hung aroung the village, trying to get to a lake that we could see from the school and eventually reached a lake of some kind. Meanwhile there was a lot of frisbeeing and singing. We also went to a store and bought some groceries to cook dinner. Tomer made some pasta, Reentko made a great salad. By the way, Reentko is a musician.

Sunday was lazier. I decided to sleep all day. In the afternoon, I was invited over by Tomer et al for the leftovers from yesterday night, and some pancakes. We all had fun creating new kinds of sauces to go with the pancakes. Of course, in the meantime I was beginning to feel that it was probably too much to expect that everyone will be nice. I should be thankful that so many people already are so nice! In the evening it was fun to play with Yossi's kids.

Monday turns out to be sunnier than Sunday. Heartache for trekkers.

Unpleasant and Pleasant

2005-08-06T03:06:00.000+05:30

Usually I avoid expressing unpleasantness about most things and try to look at it in a positive light. Its not that the motive is to gain universal acceptance. Its convenient for me to try and be less fussy about my choices. That makes me feel better. It makes me feel as if I am trying my best to accomodate other people's interests. However, there are times when even my optimism gives away, and I cant tolerate it anymore.
Lets talk about people. I am going to be nasty here now. Most people I meet are nice. Some are really nice and kind and helpful. They go out of their way to make you feel comfortable and inspite of that you never feel as if they are doing you a favour. Then there are people who will be good, but you can make out that they are "being" nice. Some people are plain aloof. They never bother you; may be sometimes they smile. Some others are weird and eccentric so they sometimes bother you but they are tolerable, because they usually have some point of view, may be different from yours. Then there are the people who are act aloof but are nasty when you are not looking. And finally, the people who are downright ! These are the people who will act superciliously, pretend to know everything, would stick to their opinion even when presented with contrary evidence, would rant about everything and everyone else, and what is worst, will show no sense of community feeling. I am sad to say, I have happened to meet a few people of that kind here. Of course I have also had the opportunity to meet some reasonably nice people and some really nice people. However I must say, I met people who were much more fun during my last tour. I really wish there were some people like them here! I dont feel very good about the people we have here now, some of course are very nice and so I will end the unpleasant bit here.

Yesterday after lunch I went on my first alpine trek. We trekked upto the Col de Forclaz behind Les Houches. That is from 1100 mts to 1400 mts in less than two hours and back. It was not very comfortable. The way was very steep and we were going quite fast. However, the views were fantastic. So was the experience of going through the pastures and over the hills.

Today, we went to the Les Houches village down the hill and then took the cable car from there up to BelleVue and then started walking towards the Glacier de Bossons. This trek offered much better views and was much less tiring inspite of being twice as long. In fact, we walked for more than two hours just one way, and coming down was easier. This one offered a really nice view of the alpine forests and the peaks. we climbed upto the glacier and were in touching distance of it. We did not however go on the glacier because we had little time left and the way was not very safe. we returned about 10 mts away fromthe ice. It was really one of the best things I have ever seen- snowclad rocky peaks at 1800 mts. I am hoping that I go to one of the glaciers pretty soon and get some ice! It was all the better this evening to have Reentko a friend of Tomar, to come over and play some guitar for us in the night.

Bon Apetit'

2005-08-03T19:26:00.000+05:30

I am sure its no longer a secret how important food is to me. I was told that the food is France would be very bland and there would hardly be anything to eat for the vegetarians. I was also mentally prepared for it.
I began to doubt the reputation very soon, because I could manage to get a chocolate patty - pain au chocolat without any trouble and very cheap, on the Metro station itself. It was pretty good. My next few hours were spent without much food. I only had an icecream and coke before I reached the school.Now, right from the breakfast I had no more faith in the diktat that was passed to me about the food. Not only did I manage to get vegetarian food, it was great, to say the least. The service girls at the restaurant that serves the school, Britt in particular, take all the effort to make sure that I get a good vegetarian fare.
The breakfast usually consists of a couple of juices, fruit, cereals, milk and bread with butter. Nothing exceptinal here, but sometimes even simple things can be nice.
The lunch is an hour long sit in affair. The restaurant has about 10 table where all of us sit in small groups. The weather has been misty and from the restaurant and else where the view of Mont Blanc alone is quite appetising, one does not need much more. We are first served bread with some salad and butter, before the main course arrives. The first day it was a pan with a crispy vegetable patty like base with mushrooms, cheese and other vegetables on top, cooked to melt! Today it was a huge boiled potato served with sauces and grilled tomatoes and a dish of sliced potatoes cooked in cheese. The plates are taken away and we soon head for the desserts consisting of cheese of 5-6 kinds of which tastes a couple and some fruit, usually melons.
The dinner is not any lighter. It begins in a similar way, with bread and salads, along with a soup. Then the main course follows. Mostly consisting of some cereal cooked in cheese and some kinds of cooked bread. The dessert again has some cheese and a sweet dish. The mousse de coco, was just great. who thought mixing cream with fresh grated coconut would taste this good? Well, because Savoy cuisine has won me over, there will be more mouth-watering reports to come.

Mumbai to Les Houches

2005-08-02T18:32:00.000+05:30

Mumbai was not the best of the places to be in during the last week. The rain never seemed to stop, and the television always seemed to predicting doomsday floods. The airport was closing down every now and then like some bengali businessman's shop. In the middle of all this I had to catch my flight to Paris on 31st morning. The flight got delayed and once I could not take the anxiety any more, I went to the airport around noon while it was raining heavily and began my 14 hour long wait for the flight. Fortunately it was not altogether painful, redeeming features being food served by the Air India to us at their cafeteria and much less tension because of being on the location and having access to all information about the flight. It was comforting to be in touch with friends and parents who called up every once in a while to check the situation. Finally the flight left at 2:00 A.M. on 1st for Paris. The inflight food was not as good as last time, understandable because of the rains. However the worse part was that I was already very tored sitting at the airport, and then travelling for 9 hrs in the flight was uncomfortable. Once at the Paris airport at 8:00 in the morning, I thought life would get easier, but I was wrong. The baggage took over an hour to arrive, then after standing in a line for an hour I managed to get my train tickets from the airport to Gare de Lyon via Gare du Nord, and from there to Les Houches. The metro in Paris seemed really nice, and soon I was at Gare du Nord. Within seconds I got another train to Gare de Lyon and also managed to catch a bite in between at noon. I explored a bit around the station in Lyon wondering at the beautiful stuff all around, too costly for me to buy. The stores - confectioneries, coutouriers, were really impressive. Stationery for one is something I would rather pay more and get such quality stuff. Anyway, then I caught my TGV train to Lyon Part Dieu from Lyon and reached there by 3:30 in the afternoon. The scenery from the train was superb, but taking pictures was impossible with the train travelling so fast. This place(Part Dieu) looked like a small city, and I did not realise then that how deep in the countryside I was being taken in. There onwards had to take a slower train to Saint Gervais Les Bains Le Fayet. We kept moving between steep hills and mountains and I noticed the stations becoming smaller succesively. It was still not dark though. The small hill train to Les Houches from St Gervais did not arrive until 10:15 in the night. the reason- there were some people on the tracks watching a truck spectacle below the bridge who refused to move!!! It had gotten dark now and one could sneak at a couple snogging on the platform. Meanwhile, I had not eaten much throughout the day, just a chocolate sandwich and an icecream and was feeling sick. I had to drink a coke. The soda made me feel better. I reached Les Houches station learning some french from Ulla my beautiful co-passenger. Anyway, once at the Les Houches station I was shell shocked. It was a single platform with no buildings that I could see around. Almost no lights, except for I think a lantern being shown by the "Station Master" or someone with the same job. Only three people got down from the train here, and crossed the tracks and I had absolutely no idea where to go. I just started walking at 11:00 in the night and a reasonably chilly wind with my backpack on the hilly road up. the restaurants had closed, so had most of the bars. I asked directions at a bar and then another who told me that the school was at the top of the hill-seven kilometers! Seven kilometers in a chilly wind, at 11 in the night and no idea about directions. I settled for a taxi and paid 12 euros for the ride and did not regret a bit. Reaching the school, I got keys to my room in Econtres, a chalet housing six people in six single rooms. A nice hot bath later I was sleeping like a kid.
Next morning, I was fresh and looking for breakfast, which was great-juices, breads, cereals, cheeses and the like- all fresh and authentic french! the school started too, which was not as difficult as I thought it would be, but my experience tells me to not draw conclusion from a first lecture. Anyway, the lunch has been the high point of the school yet. the waitress giving me special treatment, given that I am vegetarian. Prof. John Dalibard says jokingly, its more profitable to be vegetarian here! I will write about the restaurant here in some time, but I would definitely say for now that my expectations have been raised already. The cheese is fantastic, and varied. I am also getting to know lot of people here, from a lot of places. A good thing is that people from the same place are not making closed groups and so its easier to start interacting. The landscape around is pretty-mountains and conifers all around. The school itself looks like a quaint little place in the hills with a dozen odd chalets with wooden roof scattered over a small area and nice greenery around. The weather has been bad, drizzling and misty all day, but I am enjoying it. I would prefer it to sunny weather at least for some time now. I want to see how this place looks in winter, I have been told that it snows here.
There are no plans yet, but hope to make use of the time to see this place, hike and may be go for treks, there are glaciers around! Also plan to take some pictures! the cafeteria has a piano and a ping pong table - have to make use. Lets see how it goes, I am hoping it will be nice. If not anything, living in the alps for a month is worth it.

The last few days and the journey back

2005-07-19T20:46:00.000+05:30

The stay at ICTP was just great. We had a great time with each other over meals and during walks in the city and the beach. One evening we went to Barcola. It was still sometime to sunset and the place was full of eager sunbathers and hordes of teens and oldies alike.

Everynight the dinner at Adriatico would invariably involve some wine and then a walk down the seaside. One of the nights we had a dance party at the Cafeteria and LOTS of cocktails and wine. With my two left feet I still managed to dance a bit with ample help from Nada! It was very soon though that it was time to wrap up.

After the classes on the last day I packed my stuff up and after dinner left for the station and took the train back to Rome. Wiser from last time I had booked myself a couchette and had a safe and comfortable arrival at Tiburtina again. I took the transfer to Fiumicino and reached the Airport well ahead of time. Of course initially I had gotten on a wrong train and realised in time before it had left the station! Rome Airport was home for the next couple of hours as I waited for my flight announcement to Frankfurt and then eventually the flight left half an hour late due to bad weather. Reaching Frankfurt I took the Air India flight and fortunately Like the last three occasions I had managed to get a window seat. The journey back was great. The kid beside me, Norwegian, but of Indian origin was smart and fun to talk to. Oh yeah, the sunset from the plane looked great too as we passed over Turkey. Eventually reached Mumbai at 4 in the morning.

Venice

2005-07-19T20:18:00.000+05:30

The train from Tiburtina reached Venezia St.Lucia by 5:30 in the morning. The platforms were empty until a horde of tourists like us got down. It was dawn, and it began to drizzle!The station was quite well equipped and we could freshen up there making "good" use of the pay and use bathrooms. As we learnt from our American fellow tourists, everyone need not pay! Anyone who gets in, can open the doors to others! Naturally we made good use of it. And I thought these kind of tricks were under Indian monopoly!
Anyway...
Right ouside the station was a small church. We went in and had a look. Then took the bridge across the grand canal and started walking into Venice. The roads were absolutely empty, shops not yet open and the canal free of any boats. If I had not seen the place in this virginal state, I would have reckoned that Venice was hyped beyond its worth.

Those few hours in the morning, where we explored small alleys, bylanes, nooks and crevices of Venice, were the most peaceful hours of our entire trip. It was like watching the city wake up and get dressed for the other tourists. But is there a question whether a thing of beauty looks better without its clothes? It was Sunday and we saw old ladies walking past, possibly to a church of their liking. We eventually landed up inside the church of the Father and sat there for sometime listening to the music being played on the organ pipes. I was tired and the music was so soothing that I was going to fall asleep, so we started to walk again.
We went through the city looking at shops that sold masks, lace, and glassware and the kind. Eventually we returned back to the grand canal and sat on the side and had our late breakfast at 11. We walked to Piazza San Marco, to the basilica and went in to see the museum inside. We also met up with lot of other people from ICTP there.
By this time it was already about 2 in the afternoon. Then some of us decided to go to Murano to see the glass factories and we took the ferry and reached Murano. It was wonderful to see the artist make a horse and a vase out of molten glass in seconds. The shops lined up had millions of glass sctulptures one would have liked to have. However until I begin earning in euros I dont see myself buying any of those. It was evening and Gulsheen and me decided that we wanted to get back to ICTP for dinner.

We took the ferry back to St.Lucia and then the train to Trieste at the end of a hectic yet unforgettable weekend.

Rome

2005-06-24T20:56:00.000+05:30

I may run out of adjectives, but would never be able to describe the experience over the next two days. We took the decision to go to Rome and Venice.
It was Gulsheen, Nosheen, Tejas, Rishi, Thiago and Myself. We took the night train and reached Rome quite early at abt 7 in the morning. Rishi and Tejas left us because they planned to stay in Rome for the day. The rest of us started going around the city. The first thing we saw was the Republica. A big church with pretty paintings and architecture. We were just in time for the morning sermon.

The city was just waking up. Then we walked our way to through the streets of Rome to the Spagna, or the Spanish Steps. Yet again a beautiful and huge piazza with a fountain and stairs that led one towards the Vittoriano. It is a symbol of italian valour.

One thing I was beginning to see was "grandeur". This place beats anything else just by sheer size. The massive pillars, domes and statues would captivate anyone with the scantiest sense of aesthetics. Next on was the Palatino and the Colloseum. Of course we saw the Roman Ruins on the way.

It was already past noon and we dicided to move in towards the Vatican. We would not be able to see the Sistine Chapel and the Vatican Museums because we were already late, but we would see St Peters basilica and the tombs of the deceased popes. St Peter's basilica was really impressive, with its classic architecture and paintings. I had been clicking photographs like crazy all this while not even bothering if there was enough light. The basilica was one of the most beautiful pieces of architecture I had ever seen.

After sending home a postcard from the Vatican, we went to a flea market nearby and browsed at the various things on display. Of course the people were just as interesting to watch.
Next thing on the list was Piazza Tribunali, and the canal in front of it, from where we went to Piazza Navona. This place was truly remarkable, with the people and the tourists and the jokers and the painters and food and drink and what not! Its like a huge party!

We were tired and caught the famous italian icecream - Gelato. Just wonderful. Now we would go to the Pantheon and then eventually take our train back to Venice.
Okay...what happened in Venice? Thats next post....

Trieste, Summer School, Iskra and other things

2005-06-21T17:03:00.000+05:30

Now that I was at the school, I felt really good about coming here. The place is fantastic, with a sea-front on one side, and hills on the other. The place is full of beautiful sights. There are lovely trees, tunnels, staircases and parks around. The sea-front too is very different in an important way from what we have at TIFR. There are no sun-bathers on the beach at TIFR, and that makes a bit of a difference.

The classes were turning out really good. Quigg, Kusenko, Smirnov, Martin, Buras, Rubakov - everyone was pretty friendly and pedagogical. But who wants to discuss physics?
There was a reception in the evening, with the whole cafeteria full of food and drinks of all kinds. I got to meet a lot more people from the school, mainly Brazilians, Mexicans and some Russians and Germans.
The next day, I had the opportunity to go around in the city in the evening with Thiago, Melina, Nada, Gulsheen, Nauseen, Siddharth, and others. We went to the Piazza de Unita Italia, and Piazza Oberdan. I had lost my camera, so had to buy a new one. Now, I could start taking pictures!!!

The dinner was at a restaurant near Adriatico, close to where the institute is. The pizza was pretty good, especially with the melt in the mouth mushrooms. Of course, the grappa and prosecco were good too. Finally of course, it was great to talk to the beautiful waitress Iskra, and take pictures with her!

Next day the classes went the usual way with more banter between Quigg and Buras. In the night of course, at dinner-time the spectacle of Sophie asking Buras was a dance was just the thing we were hoping to see. Buras and Quigg's hopes of being asked out to the discotheque were not quite met, but this was at least partial fulfilment of hopes! Eventually it all became a huge thing with the students coming over and applauding Buras and Quigg.
Life would go just like this, until it was Thursday evening when suddenly people got an idea that they wanted to see Rome. For that one would leave on Friday night, reach Rome on Saturday morning and then go around the city. In the night take the train to Venice, and see the place on Sunday and come back to Trieste by Sunday night. It would be ridiculously tiring and yet I was thinking if I wanted to do it. Did I go?Just keep watching this space...

The Arrival and the Wake-up Call

2005-06-20T22:45:00.000+05:30

So here comes my first post from Italy.
I was quite nervous, when I was leaving Mumbai. The whole process of visas and customs was driving me nuts. Moreover I had all these funny problems with my documents. Of course, it was a great relief to have someone drop me off at the airport. Once on the flight, I was somewhat relieved.
The Mumbai airport was almost empty in the early morning. I was on time for check-in and got over with the formalities and boarded the plane to Frankfurt. The food on the Air-India flight was quite good, and in 8 hours, went over the seas and over Turkey and eastern Europe. Eventually, it was great to see Frankfurt from the sky. The houses, red tiles on top and the acres of conifer trees. The whole place looked like tiled with blocks, each block with a field in the middle and surrounded by houses on the sides. There seemed to a river running through the city, arond which there seemed to be more buildings. The Frankfurt airport was huge and beautiful, and it was here that I realised that the temparature was so different from Mumbai! There was a nice chill in the air, as I changed terminals aptly aided by the Lufthansa crew. The next flight on Lufthansa took me to the Fiumicino airport in Rome. Inflight food was a good indicator of the food I was going to eat in Italy - some nice bread, juices and of course some real good red-wine. Well, soon I was out of the Rome airport and on my train to Roma termini - the main railway station. On the way I began to notice how Rome looked just like an Indian city! Clothes drying outside houses on the balconies, graffiti on the walls (really pretty, humorous, and fantastically colourful). Of course I was not seeing the tourist's Rome then! That would be later!
Once at Termini, took the Metro to Tiburtina station. The idea of Italy being the fashion capital was instantly clear to me. Everyone was beautiful! The men with suits and fancy ties and really fancy shoes. The girls just perfect. Fashion for sure lives here. Of course its only right that it be so, given that the women here are so beautiful!
At Tiburtina, there was a wait of 6 hours, before my train to Trieste arrived. Till about 12 in the night I just strolled about on the station, looking at the people, and listening to a guy playing the guitar in the subway. Finally boarded the train and by mistake got into a First Class Compartment. There were two more grad students from Colorado with me and an Italian guy. I was tired and dozed off, so I was treated to a traditional Italian welcome of being robbed. In the morning when I woke up, my smaller bag was gone! One of the other two guys finally located it in the train coridoor and for a moment, I thought nothing was missing. Then I realised, the camera was gone. Felt bad for a couple of moments, but took it in the stride. It was someone else's camera I had borrowed, and I would just have to replace it. Thats fine! Let me enjoy my trip here!!!The train was closing into the Trieste station by now.
Finally, I reached ICTP in Trieste, by the bus 36. The school started that very morning and that meanst I got to sleep only later in the night.
More stories on the way. Keep watching this space.

Sweet Surrender

2005-06-11T12:50:00.000+05:30

Lost and alone on some forgotten highway, traveled by many, remembered by few.
Looking for something that I can believe in,
looking for something that I'd like to do with my life.
There's nothing behind me and nothing that ties me to
something that might have been true yesterday.
Tomorrow is open and right now it seems to be more than enough
To just be here today, and I don't know what the future is holding in store,
I don't know where I'm going, I'm not sure where I've been.
There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me,
my life is worth the living, I don't need to see the end.

Sweet, sweet surrender, live, live without care,
like a fish in the water, like a bird in the air.
Sweet, sweet surrender, live, live without care,
like a fish in the water, like a bird in the air.

Lost and alone on some forgotten highway, traveled by many, remembered by few.
Looking for something that I can believe in,
looking for something that I'd like to do with my life.
There's nothing behind me and nothing that ties me to
something that might have been true yesterday.
Tomorrow is open and right now it seems to be more than enough
To just be here today, and I don't know what the future is holding in store,
I don't know where I'm going, I'm not sure where I've been.
There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me,
my life is worth the living, I don't need to see the end.

Sweet, sweet surrender, live, live without care,
like a fish in the water, like a bird in the air.
Sweet, sweet surrender, live, live without care,
like a fish in the water, like a bird in the air.
Sweet, sweet surrender, live, live without care,
like a fish in the water, like a bird in the air.

Kondeswar - a trekblog

2005-06-04T14:11:00.000+05:30

As is usual at TIFR (a research institute where I am doing my PhD), I had just got up from sleep at 5:30 in the evening.The room was in a mess. All my clothes were dirty and I was smelling like a rat. I had not taken a bath for about a week! With its back to the wall, my conscience sprung back like a cornered cat. I tidied my room, put the clothes in the washing machine and took a bath. Soon I was feeling like I was back to a civilized society. Sometimes I wish, I would shave more often. I liked the fresh and clean look that I had now.

With nothing else to do, I went upstairs to the TV lounge to see if there was something interesting on the TV. It was there that I met Rudra, my senior in the theory department and a very good friend. "Want to come to Gokul for a drink", he asked. Not a frequent drinker, I did not have a valid reason to refuse. Gokul by the way, is a seedy bar on the Colaba Causeway, which gets mentioned in the Lonely Planet Guide by virtue of being an "All Male Bar". The dinner at Gokul was quite filling. Although, the constant chattering and giggling of a pack of college girls sitting on the table next to us was really getting on my nerves. Without much fuss we finished dinner and I was back at TIFR again.

Today was Sunday. The Idli-wallah would be here by 8:00 absolutely no point going to sleep on an empty stomach, I thought. I waited till the Idli-wallah was there and finally helped myself to a dozen idlis and vadas. I really wonder what would I do if ever deprived of good food? Surprisingly, the idlis drove away my tiredness and I was not in a mood to sleep anymore. I went to Parashara, where the first year students were staying and hooked Argha da and his friends into a lively chat. It was there that Argha da told me that they were going to the Kondeswar waterfalls. I was the least interested. My idea of relaxation being sitting pretty, cross-legged, watching the greenery and the waterfalls and sipping sweet tea. Adventure treks are not exactly my cuppa. So I was not the least interested in this one, assuming that this would involve a trek too. I was surprised to hear Ipsita di say that this wont involve a trek!We would go to Badlapur by train and then take an auto to the waterfalls. I thought, if I am going to sleep anyway, why not go along and sleep there? My biggest mistake.

Reaching Kondeswar by auto was no problem, but we realized that the auto would only take you to the foot of the hills! One would have to walk up to the waterfalls! There goes my sweet Sunday sleeping scheme, I thought. With hardly another option I trudged along with others. The hills were scenic; green all around and with lots of clouds embracing the hills.

We soon took a few wrong turns and reached a point where we needed to take off our shoes and walk precariously across a bridge of stones over a small stream. Fresh into the day even this seemed to be too much to handle. Very carefully I managed to get across without wetting anything else but the soles of my feet and promptly put my shoes back on. I thought, well its just a price to pay for taking a few wrong turns. We kept walking up and asking villagers for directions fruitlessly. We did not know Marathi and they did not know Hindi! Eventually sign language came to our rescue and we were directed towards the falls by a villager. We had to go through their village. A pretty sight, but one that also forces one to start thinking about what we have achieved in 50 years of our independence. Mud huts, hooked electricity, fowl and children playing, cow dung splattered about and beautiful motifs painted on the walls of the huts. Soon we could see the falls, and the many tea stalls and dhabas that surrounded it! Hardly a place I would ever like to go to! I thanked God that we had lost way! The places we had been wandering about all this while were arguably more scenic than this. A couple of temples had sprung up and there were two waterfalls behind them. Soon we left the place and started climbing the nearest hill. Once on top, we could see hundreds of people, enjoying a lovely picnic. Swimming in the stream, were college going groups of boys and girls; families who had brought along their cooking ranges and were busy having a well deserved barbecue, and some young couples enjoying themselves in a typical bashful manner. We decided at this point that there were too many people here for our taste. Somehow most of us liked the idea of going to a pristine and virgin place, with not many people around. We walked along the stream. This was the same stream which would become the Kondeswar falls at the foothills. It felt somewhat unusual that the temples were situated at the bottom of the hill and people were frolicking in the waters upstream.

We kept walking, beside the stream. Soon it was getting steeper along the sides and with increasing regularity we needed to step into the water. The stream was quite strong here. The rains too came down in torrents and we gave up all attempt to remain dry. There was water all around and yet we kept walking deeper into the hills. Soon we had left all of humanity behind. No more voices to hear. I wondered whether anybody ever came here. We reached a point where we were standing in waist deep water, gushing across us and the hills rising to both our sides. The raindrops were lashing hard and for once I felt it was a good decision to have come on the trek. I spread my arms and soaked in the rains and the chill in the air. Walking along we reached a turn where it seemed that it would be wiser to return back. Not to be stopped Argha da and Tridib da negotiated the bend and kept climbing up. The rains had stopped. And the climbing had become much tougher. I was on all fours most of the time. After I negotiated the bend, I was offered a long stout stick to support myself for the difficult portions of the climb. Apparently I was the only one yet who had been blissfully ignorant of the existence of such a useful tool. The rocks were extremely jagged and slippery. Every time I slipped it hurt badly but we were charged now and I was thinking of going the whole hog!

The final piece of climb on the way up was the most difficult. A roaring waterfall, about 10 feet wide and 12 feet high. It was nothing less than 75 degrees steep. Slippery rocks made life all the more tough. On my third attempt I finally managed to crawl to the top of the waterfalls. Every step seemed precarious. One had to step with extreme caution, lest one slipped and took a fatal fall. Once on top, it seemed that we finally had something to be really happy about. We explored the top a bit and sat down for a quick snack of chips and half an apple each. It was 4:00 in the evening. We had spent 4 hours reaching here! We would have to find a shorter way down if we had to reach home before midnight!. One that did not involve going through the stream and getting thoroughly drenched!

We crossed over onto the nearby hill top by wading across another small stream which joined the earlier one. Soon we were out of the way of the stream and all we needed to do was move across the hills. We moved from hill top to hill top, till we could see the village again. But again we were faced with a very steep climb before we could descend into the village. This time there was no rampaging waterfall to push us down, but the cliff itself was very steep. Undoubtedly a very difficult piece of climbing for inexperienced people like us. Partho was the last one to climb. To see a stone he tried to use as a footrest, hurtling down, had been enough to set his pulse racing! He left the bag he was carrying, midway, and just managed to pull himself over the cliff. I was feeling too energetic, and managed to retrieve the bag by going down the cliff on my back and promptly climbing up.

Soon we were back to the place where people were picnicking. We went back to the tea stalls there and had Vada-Pao and sweet tea. The leisure trip had turned out to be more exciting than I would have imagined. Soon we were on the auto back to Badlapur and then on the crowded local train. We were all very tired and wet. All I was thinking was about how soon would I reach TIFR, wash my shoes and jeans, and take a hot bath! Once back, I took a hot shower, cleaned up the mess I had made of my shoes and jeans and put them out to dry. There was steaming Khichuri waiting for all of us in Ipsita di's room. Could there be a better end to this trip?

Yes. A long restful sleep.

Potpourri - when there is a little bit of everything

2005-05-28T20:24:00.000+05:30

A lot has been happening. A lot always keeps happening. Sometimes we fail to take notice. Sometimes we do not. The weather has been getting steadily warmer here in Mumbai and has been the cause of renewed reluctance to do any work. Once there is no work being done, there is a lot of time to take notice of whatever is happening to oneself.

One of my dreams was to see the world - european cities, african jungles, latin america, amazon, canyons, everything. I have seen a bit of India, mostly as a child and have a lot of memories. Now that I see myself going to Rome, Venice and Trieste for two weeks and then a month later to Paris and the French Alps for four weeks, it makes me really happy. Of course there is the burden of having to get all the documentation right. Visa, airtickets etc. take up a lot of time and energy. But everything seems to be going almost fine, modulo a number of small issues involving, the way my name should be spelled. That apart, there is some shopping to do, for a good pair of shoes, a rucksack and some clothes. Of course I plan to chronicle my visit as best as I can in these pages. Before that however, I must finish some assignments.

* * *

Voice Within has had a couple of chats with himself. The Voice loves beauty. Possibly more than it should. There are things more important than beauty itself. But this, the Voice fails to learn. In this battle of the senses and sense, sense is unable to win over the senses. It brings succour for a while, but in the heart lies remains buried the grains of guilt. The Voice knows that only Love and complete Surrender will wash away the pain.

* * *

Bong Nicknames

2005-05-24T15:10:00.000+05:30

To choton, gulgul, khoka, laltu, keltu, puntu, gogol, tutu, bubu, babai,etc. In this blog, I will attempt to alert people to a great injustice that is being perpetrated upon the sons of Bengal. So you thought they were wimpy to begin with. Far from it, my friend. Their current state is a result of years of conditioning by the oppressors - namely the women. By using a variety of psychological weapons, they have reduced these fine men to what you see today.

Let's focus on the first weapon in their hands - the nickname. When a son is born into a Bengali household, he is gifted with a resonant, sonorous name. Bengali names are wonderful things. They convey majesty and power. A man with a name like Prasenjit, Arunabha or Sukanta is a man who will walk with his head held high, knowing that the world expects great deeds from him, which was why they bestowed the title that is his name upon him.

But it simply will not do for these men to get ahead of themselves. Their swelling confidence needs to be shattered. How can one go about it? This task is left to the mothers of these lads and is accomplished by the simple act of referring to the boy, not by his fine-sounding real name, but by a nickname which Shakti Kapoor would be ashamed to answer to. Their are some rules for creating nicknames, which need to be followed. They are -
1) Nicknames must have no connection to the real name. Arunabha cannot be called Arun. No, for that would be logical, and such things are an athema in the world of women. Instead he shall be called Bhutu. If possible, the nickname and real name must have no letters in common, but an ancient alphabet proves to be the constraining factor there.
2) Nicknames must be humiliating. If you are a tall strapping boy,with a flair for soccer, an easy charm and an endearing personality,then you shall be nicknamed - Bhondu. And every time, you have set your sights on a girl, and are on the verge of having the aforementioned lass eat out of your hand - your mother will arrive and pronounce loudly - "Bhondu, bari cholo". The ensuing sea of giggles will drown out whatever confidence you had earned from that last winning free-kick.
3) A nickname must refer in some way to a suitably embarassing incident in your childhood that you would give your arm and leg to forget. If it took you a little too long to shed your baby fat, then years of gymming will not rid you of the nomenclature - Motka. If your face turned crimson when you cried as a toddler, you will be called Laltu. When you turn 40, your friends' children will call you Laltu kaku. Even age will not earn you the right to be taken seriously thereafter.
4) Different members of the family will make up different nicknames-each more embaressing than the preceding one. If one member of thefamily calls you Piklu, then another will call you Mitul, and another will call you Jumbo. The humiliation multiplies.
5) You will always be introduced by your nickname until people forget you had a real name. Ranajoy might have taken on a gang ofarmed men single-handedly, but Toton really didn't have a chance. After a point Toton will completely take over the beaten body of Ranajoy, weighed down by the pressure of a thousand taunts.

This strategy is surprisingly effective. Ask yourself - would you take Professor Rintu seriously? Or put much weight by the opinion of Dr.Bubai? Or march into battle under the command of General Habla? The power of the nickname has scarred the psyche of Bengali men everywhere. It follows them like a monkey on their backs. That too,a monkey with a flair for slapstick, that was gifted to them by their own mothers.

P.S. This piece is not my creation, as you might have guessed already. I was sent this as a mail by a friend.

Thanksgiving

2005-05-13T09:10:00.000+05:30

through the fence
Originally uploaded by eric juttner.

I feel quite happy and content right now. Not that I have achieved something great, but its just that I have done what I had set out to do. I still have left a lot more to do, but I have met the target that I had set for myself for now. There will be many more targets to set and meet. Sometimes there will be failure. Sometimes success. But in all times there will be gratitude. My sincere thanks to everyone.

Beyond Boundaries

2005-05-10T15:55:00.000+05:30

Double world
Originally uploaded by *Roquentin*.

Restless days. Sleepless nights. Futile attempts. Undeserved excitement. Unnecessary dissapointment. Random philosophising. Comfortable diversion. Everythings happening in my life.
P.S. I hope I remember the times when I have felt this way everytime I lean over to the Dark Side!

Pictures of Nowhere

2005-05-08T21:50:00.000+05:30

Same benches, B&W
Originally uploaded by *Roquentin*.

There are so many places and days I do any any pictures of. Some pictures never got taken. Some are lying in a locked cupboard or trunk. Some had to be thrown away when they got spoilt in the rain...

a footprint

2005-05-07T17:08:00.000+05:30

a footprint
Originally uploaded by Funny Fish.

Self Opinion

2005-05-06T21:25:00.000+05:30

Opinion about one's own abilities vary. Over time and from person to person. When not feeling very good about oneself, it feels almost criminal that there existed in my mind ever, a better self image. Well, what can be done? Life will move on...

What do you see?

2005-05-04T01:13:00.000+05:30

Sometimes when I shut my eyes, and try to see if I can see anything, I see patches of purple and yellow light. I never bothered to find out if that is usual, but I have a feeling that it would be something that varies from person to person. I dont think everyone sees the same colours and patterns. Talking about this there is another similar thing. When you are looking up at a blank screen or the blue sky, do you see short pieces of thread floating? I have been told that the chinese thought that these were a link to the primordial energy in the universe and by meditating on these one could achieve union with the universe and attain nirvana. Interestingly, even I believed that the ability to see these things was kind of special! That may well be explained by the fact we humans all seem to think alike.
On a different note, how many of you have had an experience where you saw something, or went somewhere and had a feeling that you are going through a repeat telecast! One time it happened to me was when I went to Jodhpur, and saw the Mehrangarh Fort. I felt I must have been here before. Even in day to day activities I have this feeling sometimes.

On a rollercoaster

2005-04-27T14:56:00.000+05:30

This is proving to be an exciting ride. I did have some feeling beforehand that working on a problem would indeed be quite exciting, but first hand experience is irreplaceable. Everytime one finds a new result there is some excitement, unwarranted most of the times. Then one finds some papers in the literature that talks about roughly the same problem or idea, and hopes are dimmed. Then again one puts a spin on the older problem and does something new and so on...well its good.
But first I need to finish my project report!!!

cat-a-blog

2005-04-20T01:27:00.000+05:30

I like cats. I liked cats even when I was a kid. As a child I had a small white cat. I called it Tintina. It was a soft bundle of fur that I liked to play with. It was very lazy and sat in one place or slept. I have been told by my parents that I was once chewing Tintina's tail and it did not get angry or try to hurt me! Eventually my uncle had to hit me so that I left Tinitina's tail and my Grandma cleaned my mouth meticulously. I hear that when we shifted to a new house, Tintina stayed back in old house and soon died...
I have encountered a lot of cats since then. Lot of them in books. Lewis Carrol's one was quite interesting. Even Sukumar Ray has a cat in one of his stories. Lot of people seem to be enamoured by cats it seems. But yeah, cats are nice...

Weekend Diary

2005-04-11T17:40:00.000+05:30

This week has been kind of eventful. Nothing very unusual, but feel-good none the less. It started out with me buying my music system, and spending a lot of time in my room at night, listening to music. I do not have a big enough collection yet, which I plan to create from the music archive I have on the computer.

Then of course, I went for a trip to a place called Malshej near Karjat, with lots of other people for observing the night sky.Even the journey on the bus to Malshej was very entertaining with games being played all the way. Of course the place, a hillock with a flat top, away from the city, had a different charm of its own. The dinner at night in the dark,was quite good too!
It was a long standing desire of mine to learn to identify the various objects in the night sky.

Now that I am talking about it, I remember that when I was about 12 or so, I was first introduced to a new world of stars, galaxies, space and the idea of beyond! I had a few russian books with lots of pictures of cosmonauts and the like. Then came the inevitable barrage of physics lessons where I learnt about supernovae, neutron stars and blackholes. The way I looked at the things, were changing slowly. From things of wonder, these heavenly bodies were transforming into objects about which we claimed we knew a lot already (which made it less interesting)! However, at that stage those fancy objects kept my interest in science alive. It was only during the pre undergrad days that the overdose of mechanics and electrodynamics made me forget about them things completely and revel in the orgy called IITJEE(I just love those problems). The undergraduate curriculum never once mentioned anything about stars, let alone watching them. The graduate course mentioned white dwarf stars, albeit for ulterior motives of introducing fermi gases! It was only after such a long time that I finally got an opportunity to go and watch the heavens. We saw the Ursa Major, Orion, Leo, Gemini, Taurus, Scorpio, Centaurus and tens of other constellations. We also saw couple of star clusters, nebulae, and binary stars. In one of the binary stars, the two stars were of two different colours - blue and yellow. However, it got pretty cold there at night and I took a short nap in the bus while a movie about the solar system was being shown. Then I woke up again, to find them showing the Saggitarius arm of the Milky Way. Dawn was going to break soon after and it was time to pack and leave for Bombay again. I hope to come up with a "Stargazing Primer" here very soon! Keep watching this space.

The next evening was just as good, with the Annual Hostel Day celebrations. Most students were there and few of them had guests. It was quite amusing to see some of us acting social for a change.

Long Distance Relationship

2005-04-09T17:28:00.000+05:30

This is not about a long distance love affair that I am going to talk about. It is about the vacuum that a graduate student lives in when her/his PhD advisor takes a lien and spends a long time (say, a year or more), at a university abroad. This is what happened last evening:
I had recently bought my new music system. I have been getting steady visitors who make me very happy by coming to my room and spending time with me listening to music! Last evening I was chatting with a classmate when lets say Mr. Jem Finch enters. He starts telling us about how he was supposed to have a telephone date with his advisor (who was now visiting some other university abroad). For some reason the date did not materialise. He kept waiting by the phone for his advisor to call and finally gave up.
The next thing he did was something that made all of us laugh our heads off. He asked me to put on "I will be right here waiting for you" by Richard Marx. So much so for long distance relationships!

Small Fry

2005-04-06T14:00:00.000+05:30

There is not really not much to talk about since the last post.
Nothing remarkable happened.
But, every small thing that happens on days like these seems worthwhile to treasure.
Like a wisecrack someone made, or a short telephone conversation with a friend I miss a lot, or a long one with Dad. Even small things like a somewhat more edible lunch today.
And yeah, that I am finally getting a Music System for my room!

Mixed Bag

2005-04-04T13:54:00.000+05:30

Mumbai is such a mixed bag. Nothing new in that of course, we all know it. It is just that we all discover it our way when left in this city for a sufficiently long time. Its not been very long that I have been here, and so I have only about started.
Yesterday being a Sunday, was a "baahar khaana hai" day. I felt bad about ditching a dear friend and going out with some other guys (they were going to a more interesting restaurant). On the way we came across a hawker peddling books (possibly pirated or mildly mutilated) for forty bucks. How was I to restrain myself from buying "The Interpreted of Maladies"? The restaurant was quite close and the dinner was eventually delicious, comprising of paneer pakoras, khichdi and cashewnut curry.

On the way back something strange happened. While we were waiting for the bus, I saw two beggars approaching us. Both of them would be about thirty something. In ragged and dirty clothes, but quite capable of earning their daily bread it seemed. One of them had two stunted limbs sticking out from his shoulders and two stunted feet from his hips; that is over and above his perfectly normal other four limbs. For a moment I thought, "May be this is how most beggars pretend to be handicapped, and fool others into giving them alms out of sympathy "? I always had this suspicion that they must be false limbs! But it was only a fraction of a second later that I saw a small head showing up. It was an old man who was being carried by the younger one. The old man was so thin and emaciated that you could not see him when he was perched atop someone else. The two young men made a bed for him, by laying out a thin blanket over the footpath. Then they placed him over it. The old man in return shared a part of his daily alms with them.

The night was well spent. First a quick hour-long nap before studying for about two hours. Then three Jhumpa Lahiri stories and a quick letter dashed off to Dad later, it was time to go to bed. The nine o clock lecture was only a couple of hours away.

Sex in Print

2005-04-03T14:06:00.000+05:30

Most of the time when I am reading anything at all, what I am thinking about, is why am I reading it? What makes us read something? For most part I believe, any dose of sex (explicit or otherwise) always makes the reading comfortable and fatigue free. Any instances of "the best workout of them all" are highly beneficial to keep eyeballs glued to the screen. It is a pity that school text books cannot make use of this simple trick to catch the wavering attention of their owners. The day of the Jackal, was one of the first novels I had read. Only 13 years old then, it took me only a day to read it. The reason is quite obvious. Of course the fact that I was then in an all male boarding school must have helped the case. Its not such a bad thing after all, to initiate young minds into the world of reading, by using sex(strictly in written form, you pervert!) as a bait. Lot of good authors seem to put in generous helpings of sex on your plate. For instance, Roald Dahl has a fair bit of covert reference to sex in his stories(The Visitor), though rarely if ever any explicit descriptions. Ruskin Bond's "The Sensualist" on the other hand departs a lot from his usual "clean" style. Asimov has a time of his life describing antics of astronauts in zero G environment! Old classics, I have not read many; but most that I have, seemed to be bereft of sex. Michael Grisham's "The Firm" has a scene on the beach which seemed quite exciting to me as a 13 year old. The movie however is a damp squib. Recently I read "Five Point Someone" by Chetan Bhagat. He also seems to have a real good time with Neha. Its always great when a student describes how he hooked a Professor's daughter! Anyway...way too many examples, I should be thinking of opening a community on Orkut dedicated to this phenomenon! But I think I have already made my point here, so I will take your leave.

P.S. For those who want the sickly sweet stuff without any context whatsoever and dont really care about reading anything else at all, read THIS.

Mobile Phones and Us

2005-04-02T18:56:00.000+05:30

There was a point in time where I was completely against Mobile Phones. The point was, if human civilisation could do without them for such a long time, we really cannot be THAT busy or important to need to be connected all the time. Of course that is not true, I realise that now. I guess it was technophobia that was working in my head. There are a lot of people like me, I know of, who have/had similar views. It only takes a few weeks of indulgence with a gadget to really appreciate its utility. I really shudder to think what would I have done without my cellphone in some situations that I got into. Think about being stuck in some place, or let us say on a tour somewhere when someone at home needs to call you. For a real scare, imagine being picked up by the police for some silly thing! Of course I am not of the opinion that everyone NEEDS it. However, its definitely a useful thing to carry around.

Raison de etre

2005-04-01T14:42:00.000+05:30

Why yet another Blog? Because there are so many of us.
I have a lot of stuff to say and I do not wish to bore who are uninterested.
If you come have here, you are most welcome, but you are taking a mortal risk! Those willing to risk it, may occasionally come across something they find interesting .
Hopefully this is gonna get good.